Monthly Archives: January 2017

Memoir Monday, January 30th, 2017

Enthusiasm Title

I opted to put off writing this blog post yesterday because I was immersed in the book The Sun Is Also a Star, a young adult book written by Nicola Yoon.

Sun is also a star

That’s the official reason.  The unofficial reason is I’m still plagued by lack of quality sleep and it’s now taking over many facets of my life, including motivation to do anything other than lay around and pet the adorable dogs I’m taking care of.

Dogs

It’s a good thing they’re so cute because they make me smile even when I feel so exhausted.

Officially, though, I found this book to be an incredible and compelling read.  It’s the sort of book that makes you wonder just how the author managed to weave her magic of words, imagination, creativity, and plot together to come up with the story she did.  It doesn’t surprise me the book was a National Book Award Finalist for Young People’s Literature.

One of the down sides of reading a book of this nature is that I can’t help but make comparisons to my own writing.  What results when I do that is an odd mix of irrational jealousy of how the author approached and wrote the story, demoralization that I could never write anything like it, and then optimism that there are thousands of books being published each year and it’s good that my stories are (and will be) different.

It’s a lot to feel over the course of one day, especially when sleep continues to elude me.  Perhaps that is also a contributing factor.  But now that it’s been over 12 hours since I finished The Sun Is Also a Star, the truth is, and I credit my years of therapy and spiritual questing for helping me reach this point, is that I can easily let go of my irrational jealousy.  There is no reason on this Earth (or the heavens, for that matter), that I should be jealous of someone else’s success; if anything, I should be ecstatic that such a beautiful story is now being read by thousands of teenagers and perhaps encouraging them to think about their own places in this world.

And I do feel inspired with my own story ideas and characters from reading such a rich and engaging story.  One of the greatest compliments I can give to Ms. Yoon about this book is that after reading it, I want to further my learning of writing and keep practicing its craft so that I can write a story that engages readers as much as she has.

If only I could get that inspiration out of my head and onto the page with the same enthusiasm that I had when reading The Sun Is Also a Star.  In my exhausted state, writing, like most everything else, including doing the dishes, washing clothes, going anywhere, etc., seems like an insurmountable feat. Yet, I keep plugging along. Not with enthusiasm, and sometimes I feel rather belligerent about everything.

Having narcolepsy, this state of exhaustion may never change.  But my books and my stories are not going to write themselves.  So here you go.  A small piece of writing for a one-day late Memoir Monday post that makes me believe I’m accomplishing something.  Thank you for reading and for your support.

Fox Through the Forest – Chapter 8

fox-through-the-forest

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

The next morning dawned bright and clear, but it wasn’t until mid-day that Malcolm roused himself from inside Ozzie’s napping tree.  He shook out every inch of his body, from the tip of his little black nose to the end of his scruffy tail.  Then he yawned, trying to remember where he was and what he was doing here.

“Good afternoon, Malcolm!” called Ozzie’s chipper voice.

Then it all came crashing back to Malcolm – berry night and playing in the waterfall with his new friends.  It had been much later than Malcolm was used to going to bed and he moved more like a turtle than a fox this morning.  His brain trudged on in the same way too and it was a few more moments before he remembered the most important point of all – Nana Owl was no longer on the Western edge of the forest.

“Good afternoon, Ozzie,” said Malcolm in a voice that was decidedly less chipper.  His mind was already whirring around and around with what to do about Nana Owl.  Should he stay or should he go?

“Late night?” Ozzie chuckled at his own joke.

“Something like that,” Malcolm said with barely a glance at Ozzie.

“Oh, come on now,” said Ozzie, who must have sensed Malcolm’s preoccupation because he added, “still thinking about Nana Owl, aren’t you?”

Malcolm nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“Well there’s your problem, then,” said Ozzie who had come over and put a paw around Malcolm.  “You’re doing too much thinking.”  He then tapped Malcom’s head.  “Give it a rest, would ya?”

“But I can’t give it a rest,” said Malcolm.  “How am I supposed to figure out what to do?”

“Maybe you’re not supposed to figure it out.” said Ozzie.

“That’s helpful.”  Malcolm snorted, though, because he found it wholly not helpful.

“What I mean,” said Ozzie who rolled his eyes at Malcolm in exasperation, “is maybe you should listen to here,” and he put his hand on Malcom’s chest right where his heart beat, instead of here,” and he moved his hand to tap Malcolm’s forehead.

“Ow,” said Malcolm, rubbing his head.  But maybe Ozzie had a point.  What was it Malcolm really wanted?

Malcolm thought back to why he started looking for Nana Owl in the first place.  It was to help him find his waterfall and mountain.  He didn’t know if they really existed or not and that’s why Carl the cardinal had recommended Nana Owl.  Maybe she can help you, he’d said.

Well, she had, thought Malcolm.  In searching for Nana Owl, Malcolm had met Jersey the squirrel and Ozzie the skunk.  He’d also met Ozzie’s friends.  He’d been shown kindness and given food and a place to sleep.  He’s also come to Evergale Falls, the most beautiful place he had ever been.  Searching for Nana Owl had so far been quite the adventure.  What would happen if he kept going?  Would he find his mountain?  Would there be a place more beautiful than Evergale Falls?

All of sudden, Malcolm realized what was happening.  He was afraid.  This time it wasn’t the night creating his fear, but the worry that he would never find what he was looking.  He remembered what he thought at the start of his journey which now seemed a very long time ago – he would never know if he didn’t try.  And right now, he wasn’t trying.  He was letting his fear slow him down.  Not that he wasn’t grateful for his new friends and their hospitality, but he had a dream.  And there was no time like right now to get it back on track.

Malcolm felt a surge of energy rush through his body.  He immediately brightened at the prospect that lay before him.

Ozzie chuckled again.  “You seem to have perked up.  I guess you ‘figured it out.’

“That’s right,” said Malcolm and he gave Ozzie a hug.  “Tell Arthur and Milo I said goodbye.  I hope someday soon I’ll see you again.”  And just like that off, Malcolm took off running through the forest.  He had places to go.

To be continued….

Memoir Monday, January 23rd, 2017

Narcoleptics Prevail

I think I’m making progress towards this whole I am a writer thing.  I say this because today I am utterly exhausted and I still wrote my daily word count, exceeded it, actually. 1500+ words when you are a narcoleptic and you haven’t slept well is quite an accomplishment. 

As my niece would say, “narcoleptics prevail!”

Someone today commended me on my writing habits.  He said I had “discipline.”  It’s funny, because that’s one of the last words I would use to describe myself.  How many times do I check my email, scroll through Facebook, look for new stories about JK Rowling or Pitch Perfect 3, or send a funny dog video to my husband before I sit down to write?  Probably about 1,265,317 times.  And that’s just in one morning.

Then there was this morning.  I did not want to write anything for my novel.  Not even a teeny tiny bit.  I tried to get going by revising a picture book I wrote for my online class through KidLit College.  I then sat and stared at my computer feeling rather belligerent about everything, especially writing.  Just write 100 words, I encouraged myself. 

What I really wanted to do was go back to bed and take a nap.  It was only 8:00am.

The last time I got a good night’s sleep was February 12th, 2016.  Seriously.  My husband and I stayed over at his friend’s house because we were having an all-day Harry Potter movie marathon.  I don’t know if it was the bed, how cold the room was, or the fact that my husband and I secretly eloped that morning.  Before that, my last good night’s sleep was the end of September, 2015, when I was housesitting for a friend, and before that it was a day in March, 2014, when I went to a chiropractic open house.

You know you’re dealing with a narcoleptic when they can tell you their last good night’s sleep.  What this means, though, is that it’s been many days in a row of not good sleep and ever since the full moon last week it’s been many days in a row of not good sleep and incredibly vivid, and often disturbing dreams.  Suffice it to say I feel exhausted.

It’s time like this that I’m incredibly grateful I had the courage and inclination to quit my teaching job.  When I was a professor, teaching four classes, advising 30-40 students, serving on committees, and conducting research, I was exhausted simply by the sheer weight of my work, never mind the narcolepsy. 

I would never have been able to write the way I do and I would not be where I am with my writing if I had not quit.

That’s one of the reasons, though, I could power through.  When I started writing this morning I was only 1500 words away from crossing the 20,000 word mark of my second novel.  I wanted to get there and I wanted to do it today so tomorrow could bring another goal.  I’m on track to finish the first draft of my second novel by the first week of February.  It blows my mind that not only do I have the first draft of one novel completed, but I’m getting to the finish line of a second one!  How did this happen?  Is it discipline?  Or is it positive reinforcement?  I don’t know, and right now, I don’t care, because I am tired, yet I am writing.  Narcoleptics prevail, indeed!

Fox Through the Forest – Chapter 7

fox-through-the-forest

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Malcolm’s excitement turned to dismay as he took in Milo’s pronouncement about Nana Owl.  “What do you mean she’s not there anymore?  Where did she go?”

“From what I heard, Nana Owl moved to Whimzafir Mountain at the northern edge of the forest.  She’s living in pine tree so high the clouds keep her company.”

Malcolm opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again.  He sighed, disappointment washing over him the way Ozzie still dripped with water from Evergale Falls.

“Are you sure about that Milo,” said Ozzie.  “I heard nothing about Nana Owl moving.  Thought she was still in that Elder tree up yonder.”

“Not one hundred percent.  But I heard it from a blue jay who heard it from a robin.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Malcolm asked, finally finding his voice.  “I need Nana Owl to help me find what I’m looking for.”

“And what’s that?” Arthur asked.

“I had a dream,” said Malcolm.  “There was a mountain and a waterfall and plenty of flowers.  I’ve never seen anyplace more beautiful,” he finished with a sigh as he gazed into Evergale Falls.  Well, until now, he amended to himself and for the briefest of moments he didn’t feel quite so sad about the prospect of Nana Owl being so far away.

As if reading his mind, Ozzie echoed his sentiments.  “Except for Evergale Falls, you mean,” he said with a twinkle in his eyes.

Malcolm’s heart skipped a beat.  “Wh-what makes you say that?” Malcolm had already thought this place had magic.  Did the animals have magic powers here?  Could Ozzie read his mind?

“Look around,”  said Ozzie as a tiny paw swept over the air around them.  “I don’t have to go everywhere to know Evergale Falls is one of the most beautiful places on the planet.”

“Plus, we have berries,” laughed Arthur.  Milo and Ozzie joined in, but Malcolm was still too perplexed to find anything funny about this situation.  Should he continue west or head to the north?  What if Nana Owl moved on before he got there?  What if he never found his mountain and waterfall?

“Oh, cheer up, my new foxy friend,” said Milo looking at Malcolm’s grim face.  “You’re here now.  You might as well enjoy yourself.”

“Yeah,” said Ozzie.  “Come on.  We’ll introduce you to the other animals, get you some berries to eat, and then you can splash around in the water for a little bit.  It’ll take your mind off things for a while.”

“If you say so,” said Malcolm, even though he wasn’t quite sure that would happen.  But half an hour later, it had happened.  Malcolm was having so much fun with his new friends that he almost forgot about the conundrum facing him with finding Nana Owl.  Then a thought occurred to him that took him completely by surprise.

What if…No.  He didn’t want to think it.  But there it was.  The thought had come to him and he couldn’t not think it, so he might as well consider the option.  Evergale Falls really was the most beautiful place he had ever seen and the waterfall certainly rivaled the beauty of the one in his dream.  He also had berries to eat, new friends, and he knew at the end of the night they would have a place for him to sleep.  What if he gave up his quest to find Nana Owl and his mountain? What if he stayed here?

To be continued…

Memoir Monday, January 16th, 2017

CT round 3 Title

Now that I’m about one week into our third stint in Norfolk, CT, it’s time to update and refine my objectives from go-around #2.  Here’s what I wanted to accomplish last time:

1)      Write 6,000 words per week specifically for one of my novels

2)      Attend a weekly writer’s group

3)      Listen to at least one Brandon Sanderson lecture on writing each week

4)      Read at least five chapters of a novel every week

5)      Complete 3 sets of PT exercises every day

6)      Spend 20 minutes every day on physical exercise

7)      Eat one salad every day that contains at least four colors of the rainbow

8)      Meditate twice daily for 20 minutes each time

9)      Spend 20 minutes every day reading or listening to spiritual material

10)   Explore someplace new every week with my husband

I didn’t do so well, as I explained last week.  But the good news is, now that I’m evaluating myself on a regular basis (i.e., every few months), I’m beginning to see where my true strengths and weaknesses are.  For example, I have zero inclination to actually keep records of my diet and exercise habits.

I’ve solved the diet dilemma by going on another round of an elimination that I did three years ago to see if it will help with my sleep/lingering digestive issues.  This means no grains, soy, dairy, refined sugar, eggs, or yeast for three weeks.  When you take all those foods out of your diet, it’s so much easier to know what you’re putting in your body without having to keep a record.  Plus, vegetables also then make up a huge component of the diet.  It’s also oddly reinforcing as I feel pretty good and I don’t want to add a lot of the junk (i.e. sugar/gluten) back in.

Similarly, I invested in a Jawbone Up3, even though Jawbone is getting out of the fitness tracker industry, and that seems to have solved my problem of keeping track of exercise.  Although I purchased the item to keep track of sleep (Up3 got the highest ratings for tracking light, deep, and REM sleep), I’m now being informed how many steps I’m taking every day so I can easily monitor my physical activity.

It’s also clear I’m just not good at keep tracking of anything other than word counts.  So, to track the books I’m reading (including writing books, novels, picture books, and spiritual material), I’m going to start using Good Reads.  It’s easily accessible on my phone and it will help me connect with other readers and writers out there.

Consistency also seems to be key for me in accomplishing a few of my objectives, like daily meditation, PT exercises and attending writers’ groups.  Meditation has always worked really well for me early in the morning, so I’m going to stick with that.  If I can get in an afternoon meditation session, then great, but I’m not going to beat myself up if I don’t (that pretty much seems the opposite of why someone would meditate in the first place).  I’m also going to try to work my 3 PT exercises in before I start writing in the morning.  Some of them I can even stop and do on the stairs when I first wake up or while I’m waiting for the dogs to finish eating.  My weekly writers’ group will be easier, because that will always be Wednesdays at 9am.  But these objectives, I’m not going to actually keep track of.  I know they’re there and I’m doing them.

I’m going to scrap my objective of watching a Brandon Sanderson lecture every week, simply because I’m already taking two different writing classes over the next few weeks, with a third one starting up this weekend.  This way, if I do actually get around to watching some of these lectures (which I keep hearing are quite good), then I will feel like I’ve accomplished quite a bit!

It also looks like I’m going to have to scrap going new places as an objective.  My husband and I are struggling right now with the whole “explore a new place” every week given our schedules and the fact that it’s dark by 5:00pm here.  We’re hoping that as spring approaches we’ll be able to get more out and about, but for the coming months it looks like we’re going to have let go of this goal.

That leaves writing!  My favorite objective of all.  I’m going to go back to 1000 words per day.  Every day.  Not even taking Sundays off.  One thing I am going to change, however, is that once I finish my Fox Through the Forest story as part of Fiction Fridays, I’m going to start posting writing prompts on Fridays instead.  This way, I can exercise different writing muscles and it will take significantly less time than creating, revising, and editing a chapter.  That time can be better spent on my novels and picture books.

So, in sum, my objectives until April are:

1)      Write 1000 words every day

2)      Track the books I read using Good Reads

From ten objectives to two, both involving writing.  I think I can handle that!

Fox Through the Forest – Chapter 6

fox-through-the-forest

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

It was Malcolm’s waterfall!  No, not exactly like his dream for there was no mountain and it wasn’t quite as high.  But the beauty was the same, as was the colorful spread of flowers, their vibrancy muted from the darkness.  There seemed something enchanted about the waterfall, too, the way tiny tree limbs jutted out from rocks, their green leaves dancing in the moonlight.  Malcolm wondered if a spell had been cast over the waterfall eons ago the way everything shimmered in the night and what he was seeing was just a tiny hint of the magic still there.

“Malcolm!” called Ozzie, stuffing a strawberry into his mouth.  “What a pleasant surprise.  I thought you were sleeping,” and he waved a juicy-red paw in Malcolm’s direction.

Malcolm wondered for a moment if he was still asleep; surely this place could not be real.  He felt awed by its magic and it left him dazed, feeling more convinced than ever that there was some spell cast over this place.  The only hint it was real was he could almost feel the rush of water against his fur.  He took a tentative step forward, then another.  He was not going to speak until he knew whether this was real or not.

Ozzie beat him to it.  In one swift movement, the skunk scurried past Malcolm, took a flying leap, and shouted “CANNONBALL!”

Cool water splashed Malcolm all over.  The shock of it startled him, but it was enough for him to be certain this was no dream.  He shook out his fur as Ozzie bellowed in delight.

“You didn’t tell me berry night involved swimming,” said Malcom with a smile.

“You didn’t ask,” said Ozzie as he started doing the backstroke away from Malcolm.

“Where are we?”  Malcolm looked around, still feeling somewhat dazed by his surroundings.

“Evergale falls. Home to many animals, including myself, my family, and my friends.”  Ozzie stopped swimming and gestured at some of the other animals who were milling around the waterfall, eating berries and chattering away.  He then whistled and waved his hand. “Milo!  Arthur!  Come over here.  There’s someone I want you to meet.”

A porcupine and a beaver broke apart from the group.  They made their way over to Malcolm and Ozzie, who was now dripping wet, having exited the water.  “Guys,” said Ozzie, “I’d like you to meet Malcom.  He’s new to this part of the forest.”

“Hi Malcolm,” they said in unison.

Malcolm smiled in return.  “It’s nice to meet you.”

“What brings you here?” asked Arthur.

Ozzie chuckled.  “That’s old news –I already asked him that.  He said he’s on his way to see Nana Owl.”  Malcolm nodded his head in agreement.

“Oh, I met her once,” said Milo with enthusiasm.  “Now there’s a bird who really knows her stuff.”

“I knew it!” said Malcolm jumping up in the air, but Milo wasn’t done speaking.  He continued on with, “But I don’t think she’s on the western edge of the forest anymore.  My dear, new fox friend, I think you may be going the wrong way.”

To be continued….

Memoir Monday, January 9th, 2017

back-to-ct-we-go-update-and-report-card

A few weeks ago, my husband and I returned to Norfolk, CT, for another housesitting job.  I set up some goals, or as someone pointed out to me, processes, I felt would help me reach where I want to go.  One of the aspects of these “processes” is that I wanted to make them S.M.A.R.T(er), meaning they’re specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.

Which, I did.  Except, as it takes me a ridiculous amount of time to do simple tasks, like put something in the mail, I ended up with a huge flaw in my November/December plan.  I never got around to creating a spreadsheet to track my progress.

Sure, I thought about it, but in typical Kelly fashion there was no follow through.  The good news is, I’m not completely hopeless because I did make significant progress in some areas, although others rely on eyewitness testimony (mine and my husband’s) and we all know how faulty that can be.

So without further ado, my November/December report card:

1)      Write 6,000 words per week specifically for one of my novels

Grade: B

Rationale: I finished the first draft of my young adult novel, Serendipity Smart and the Fourth Wish!  I also started on a second novel, this one for middle grade kids, Top Dog of K-9 Academy.  But did I actually write 6,000 words per week specifically on my novels?  All signs point to no.  If I had, I would be much further along with Top Dog than I am now.

2)      Attend a weekly writer’s group

Grade: A-

Rationale: This one is easy to accomplish, because one of my writers’ groups is always at the same time/day every week.  I gave myself an A- though because the group got cancelled a few times because our fearless leader had surgery.  Yes, that’s not under my control, but thanks to the internet I know there are many other writing groups within a 100 mile radius of Norfolk.

3)      Listen to at least one Brandon Sanderson lecture on writing each week

Grade: BIG FAT F!

Rationale: I did not listen to one lecture!  What is wrong with me?!  Free writing advice from a writing master!  I give myself an A for all my excuses though: I don’t want to watch anything too close to bedtime; if I don’t have the time to watch an entire lecture, I’ll wait until I do; I’m reading books on writing instead; etc.  For some reason, I’m treating the Brandon Sanderson lectures like a new piece of technology I’ve purchased that I leave in the box for a very long time because I’m either intimidated about using it or I’m too lazy to read the instructions.  I suspect it’s a little bit of both.

4)      Read at least five chapters of a novel every week

Grade: A-

Rationale:  I think I did this one.  I read several books these past two months and thanks to Maybe a Fox, which I highly recommend anyone reading this go out and get a copy immediately, and which I finished in one day, I sent my average well ahead of the curve.

maybe-a-fox

5)      Complete 3 sets of PT exercises every day

Grade: D

Rationale:  At first this goal was easy to accomplish.  Three sets don’t take very long.  And then I stopped completely.  See #6 below.  Yes, I know we’re allowed to give ourselves a break but I only had these goals for two months.  I’d blame the holidays, but that’s like saying I’m not 100% responsible for my life, which I am, so I can’t.

6)      Spend 20 minutes every day on physical exercise

Grade: C

Rationale:  Until December 15th, I was kicking butt.  Not only was I exercising 20 minutes, most days I exercised a full hour, with free yoga at the UCC in Norfolk and streaming classes from Cody.  Then, my husband and I did a little bit of traveling and my goals fell apart.

7)      Eat one salad every day that contains at least four colors of the rainbow

Grade: D

Rationale:  I did not eat many salads because it got so dang cold in CT.  But I did start eating more vegetable soups.  They were mostly Amy’s Organics Split Pea, which is decidedly green.  So no rainbow soup for me!

8)      Meditate twice daily for 20 minutes each time

Grade: D-

Rationale:  Again, I was doing pretty well with this one until my husband and I hit the road on December 19th.  Then I stopped meditating completely.  There has only been one other time I stopped meditating for that long since I started this practice in 2013 and that was because I was in hospital.  I’m delighted to report I’m back on track and I’ve already seen a spike in my creativity.

9)      Spend 20 minutes every day reading or listening to spiritual material

Grade: D-

Rationale:  I honestly have no idea if I met this goal or not.  The only thing I can attest to is I did not neglect my spirituality completely, so that’s why I’m giving myself a barely passing grade.

10)   Explore someplace new every week with my husband

Grade: C

Rationale:  My husband and I went to a few new places, including the largest Gingerbread festival in New England.  We didn’t get to go as many new places, though, because one of the dogs we’re taking care developed a mass on his spleen.  He is our #1 priority and I love him like he’s our own pup.  So I have no regrets at all about not meeting this goal.

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Overall Grade: F

Well, I certainly have a lot of room for improvement.  Since we’ll be in Norfolk from now until mid-April, that gives me plenty of time to work on my goals.  In the coming week, I’m going to reassess where I am and where I want to go.   And this time, I’m going to include a way to track my progress.  Thank you, internet, for making me accountable!