Even though we haven’t lived in Norfolk, CT, since May 2023, I still serve on the board of directors for the Norfolk Land Trust. I’m the chair of the NLT outreach committee, and it’s my responsibility to put out the monthly e-newsletter.
Yesterday, I sent out the October newsletter, and I included one of my favorite photos of Annie.
I miss her human, too, and the town of Norfolk, itself. Fall was always my favorite time in Norfolk. I took this photo on October 16, 2022. It is completely unedited, unfiltered, untouched. This is the magic of autumnal New England in all her glory!
Here in Colorado, we’re slowly easing into fall. Every day I wake up and eventually check the 10-day forecast, hoping that we’re heading down instead of up.
Today is still not that day. Ugh! 90 in October?
I don’t walk nearly as much around Lafayette as I did in Norfolk, not least because I have a full-time job (which I truly enjoy and am grateful for), but also because this summer was hot and humid, even at six o’clock in the morning, and my joy of walking around the lake came with too much sweat dripping down my back.
Last summer, I spent nearly every morning walking around the lake, and so this summer was quite the walking bummer. I only hit my bare minimum of two times around the lake for the last 10 weeks.
For someone who is very achievement-oriented, this bare-minimum success can be a hard way to live. However, this is where the rationalization part of my brain kicks in, and I recognize that I spent this past summer doing many other wonderful things besides walking around the lake, like reading more than I have in a long time, spending more time on my writing, and working on strengthening my body by lifting heavier weights three times a week.
I like to think this balances out my life in a nice, well-rounded way, even as I long for cooler days and more walks around the lake. They’ll eventually get here.
Last night, Heath and I attended Dark Skies & Deep Space: Andromeda Rising, hosted by the City of Boulder Open Space and Mountain Parks Department. The skies were clear, and the stars slowly came out for us to enjoy. Spencer, a City of Boulder Ranger, used a laser beam to point out different constellations in the sky. My favorite was the Summer Triangle, mostly because I had never heard of it before!
Image from the NASA website
Spencer also posed an interesting question after discussing the history of naming the constellations: If we were to create new constellations today, what popular culture would be represented in our night skies?
Some of the answers were fun and funny, such as a chat window of a Microsoft Teams meeting or Spider-Man. My first answer was, of course, a dog, because I love them so much. But we already have dog constellations, so I didn’t share that answer.
Then I thought of the perfect answer, and I yelled it out: Dolly Parton.
Spencer responded, “That answer deserves a round of applause.”
I have since Googled “how does one name a constellation,” because I wondered if I could start a petition to get a constellation named after one of the greatest musicians, feminists, and philanthropists of all time. From my scant research, naming a constellation isn’t up for discussion. The International Astronomical Union does not accept proposals for new constellations or sell naming rights (anyone who is selling you a star is essentially selling you a piece of paper and nothing else).
Oh, well.
I’ll have to think of another way to honor Dolly Parton. In the meantime, I’ve decided that anytime I think of a current event that raises my ire, I’m going to say out loud, “Dolly Parton and her Imagination Library have given over 330 million books to children,” to add more positivity to the world.
But back to the night skies – one thing I learned from a Dark Skies Colorado volunteer is that last night in Boulder County, over ONE MILLION birds migrated through the night sky.
ONE MILLION!
The volunteer explained that this is one reason it’s essential for people to turn off their outdoor lights at night, especially during bird migration season. Which, in case you are wondering, is March through June for spring migration and Mid-August through November for fall migration.
The City of Boulder isn’t the only one educating on the importance of dark skies this migration season. Today was also Lafayette’s Migratory Bird Festival at Waneka Lake. I strolled over there this afternoon under a very hot September sun (92 degrees at 2pm). Raptors from HawkQuest, local musicians, artists, vendors, and non-profit organizations shared all kinds of information on how we can help birds.
In addition to turning off your outdoor lights, other simple steps include using red lights outdoors instead of white, or replacing upward-facing light fixtures with ones that face down.
So consider yourself informed!
Please do turn off the lights if you’re able. Tell your friends and neighbors.
Then look up into the night sky and say out loud, “Dolly Parton and her Imagination Library have given over 330 million books to children.”
Let’s put more good into a world at a time when we need it!
When I close my eyes, I certainly don’t feel 49. I still feel the same as when I was 15, 25, 35, and 45.
And when I open my eyes, well … There are some signs I’m getting older.
I won’t dwell on them for too long because: 1) I have recently upped my skincare regimen; and 2) that’s all I’m interested in doing because when I see people who are, shall we say, being more aggressive against aging, I’m not personally convinced that’s the better way.
I spent a delightful day yesterday doing some of my favorite things. I started with reading and writing and then attended my cold plunge group’s weekly Saturday meetup. After that I volunteered to be a pretend wedding guest for a dog named Hoover, who is training to be a ring bearer for his humans’ wedding next week.
Then I picked up Heath, who works on Saturdays, and we drove around on a mini-adventure, and ended up finding a specialty gourmet grocery store near our house where I found the best birthday card imaginable for my niece and I now can’t wait to send it to her in November.
We then ended the day watching two episodes of Frasier. While I watched Frasier back when it was on the air on NBC in the 90s and 00s, Heath has never watched it. It’s standing the rest of time (unlike many other shows/movies we’ve rewatched) and it remains as hilarious as ever.
I also find myself feeling incredibly nostalgic for the 90s and 00s because that was a time before smart phones and the Internet as we know it and I long for the days of less fractured attention.
Nostalgia aside, it was the perfect birthday of small joys and some quality time with the person I love most in this world.
I’ll continue celebrating for the rest of the month with my usual news and social media fast. This is a gift I give to myself every year, and I rather enjoy it. So, if anything important happens, someone please let me know.
In the meantime, thanks for still sticking around all this time. Here’s hoping I make a splash this year in as many wonderful ways as possible.
My social media fasts have been going well. For the most part, I don’t miss it, and I especially don’t miss wasting time scrolling, especially when I would get caught in loops of politics and injustice.
Lately, however, I’ve been checking social media more often.
On July 1, I received a text from a good friend:
You may recall that Frannie was my #1 Internet dog, whom I fell in love with in 2024, and whom I loved with my whole heart, even though I had never met her.
So when I received a text that Frannie was sick, I immediately opened Instagram to find out what was going on.
The news was not good, and it continued to not be good. But Annika, Annie’s rescuer and real-life angel, kept posting updates and sharing with us right up until the end.
Today Annika shared an “in loving memory of Frannie.”
.What I think most drew me to Frannie, aside from just how precious and cute she was, is that her story made me feel like there is good in the world.
It is so hard to love this much and this deeply, especially a dog I never even met. Yet I can’t imagine existing in a world where hope does not reach out to you in the most unexpected of places.
That’s what Frannie did for me. And for that I will be fur-ever grateful.
Good-bye, sweet girl. Thank you for these last 2.5 years of joy and inspiration.
I’ll be taking care of her until Monday. While I don’t normally dog sit anymore – it’s too hard to juggle a full-time job, writing, marriage, narcolepsy, and health – I made an exception for Phoebe.
Phoebe’s human mom is a friend of mine from a monthly book club I love. When her regular dog sitter wasn’t available, I agreed to step in because of the specific circumstances. Besides, as I wrote about recently, I really miss having dogs in my life.
It took Phoebe a while to warm up to me. We had two meet and greets, complete with a walk, before she agreed that I was okay. Before that, there were many nips of my calf muscles and Phoebe felt she had to herd me away from her human. It’s a good thing she’s so small and cute, because otherwise it might not have been so endearing.
Now, though, we are good friends. I know this for sure because Phoebe greets me by showing me her belly every single time.
We really are having a great time!
One of the best parts about agreeing to take care of Phoebe is that I was introduced to the Rothman Open Space. It’s a prairie trail system with the Rocky Mountains in the backdrop. It’s wide, expansive, and glorious in the early morning.
Best of all, there are prairie dogs!
If you live in Colorado or other areas in the Midwest/West that have prairie dogs, you may think this is no big deal. However, I did not grow up with prairie dogs within walking distance. If we wanted to see prairie dogs, we would have to visit Zoo America in Hershey, PA, which we did often. The prairie dog exhibit was one of my favorites.
So you can imagine my delight that the Rothman Open Space is filled with what must be hundreds of prairie dogs! I love listening to their chirps and squeaks in the morning. And while I do miss my Waneka Lake walks and the abundance of wildlife there, the prairie dogs are a good substitute.
In addition to my sheer joy and enthusiasm for the prairie dogs, it’s fun to get writing inspiration while on these walks. I’m currently revising a middle-grade manuscript, and it turns out that my brain works just as well in the open space as it does around the lake. Thank you brain!
I’m also discovering new sources of inspiration, most notably a golden retriever who watched from behind a sliding glass door when Phoebe and I walked by on the trail. I swear the dog bowed at us. Immediately, my mind whirled with the possibilities of what secrets a golden retriever who bows will be keeping.
So while I did not set out to shake things up a bit by sitting for Phoebe, it’s good to be reminded that you don’t know what you don’t know. I had no idea I had access to such a wonderful place. And now I can’t wait to bring friends and family here the next time we have visitors.
If you’re on the fence about whether or not to do something, let this post be your sign that you should give it a try. You never know what may happen.
Now, while you may think that the trip to Alaska itself was my greatest achievement thus far in 2026, I’m delighted to report that the trip was only a contributing factor.
We had such a fun time, with 5 days on land and 7 days at sea. We saw so much wildlife – whales, harbor seals, stellar seals, mama and baby caribou, mama and baby grizzlies, mama and baby black bears, one coastal brown bear, ptarmigans all over Denali, eagles all over the coast, snowshoe hare, and moose – and we even got a glimpse of the elusive peak of Denali, which is a mountain so massive that it creates its own weather system and only 30% of visitors ever see it.
Then there was the cruise itself. As someone who works hard against overconsumption both on an individual and societal level, it was hard to witness such excess. However, being on a cruise with my mom, husband, and niece was also a delightful way to spend time with family where we didn’t have to worry about how we were going to get somewhere, what we were going to eat, what we were going to do, and who was going to clean up after us. So there will be some cognitive dissonance to unpack in the coming days, which means I will likely justify the trip to myself as a way to spend time with my family that I only see a handful of times a year in a stress-free way.
While we loved getting off the cruise ship for our excursions, such as whale watching in Icy Strait Point
Photo courtesy of Macy Sherrill, one of the naturalists guiding our whale watching tour. The whale in the photo is named Heavy Dave.
or taking the White Pass into the Yukon on a historic train,
I took this picture from the outdoor viewing area from the last train car.
we also loved the activities on board the cruise ship, such as watching musical variety shows and playing games, including The Price Is Right.
It is in this latter category of entertainment where I accomplished my greatest achievement of 2026 (so far). Friends, you are now reading the words of the Royal Caribbean Ovation of the Seas Twilight Trivia Champion, a feat I won single-handedly.
This is now my second Twilight trivia championship, the first being from the Odd 13 Brewery Trivia Night in Lafayette, CO. However, the Odd 13 championship was a group effort with a few other women from the Romancing the Tropes book club I belong to at the Westminster Library, and this championship was truly just me and my brain.
I won with 16/20 points, and for a few minutes during the questions round, I felt convinced I would not win because some of them were hard, such as what is Bella’s mother’s full name, how many chromosomes does a vampire have, and what song plays during the iconic baseball scene in the Twilight movie. While I could tell you the mother’s first name (Renee; turns out her last name is Dwyer), and that they discussed the chromosome count in Breaking Dawn, I couldn’t even hear the song from the baseball scene in my head enough to formulate a guess.
The other question I got wrong was which Jane Austen book Bella reads in Twilight, and I said Mansfield Park. While it is mentioned in the book, Bella decides not to read that one because the main character, Edmund, is too close to her love interest, Edward.
I will never get these questions wrong again!
Another question I’ll never get wrong again is what address did Chandler tell Janice he was moving to on Friends?
Wait. What? Wasn’t I writing about Twilight?
Yes, I was. But surprise! I’m also the Royal Caribbean Ovation of the Seas Friends Trivia Champion, with a one-question assist from my mom.
The answer to the above address question is 15 Yemen Road, Yemen. My answer had been 1 Yemen Road, Yemen. Dang it! I was so close on that one.
Thankfully, my mom knew the answer to the one question I truly guessed for the answer: What was the brand of lipstick Joey advertised in Japan?
I wrote down konnichiwa, however, my mom knew the answer was ichiban. That correct answer got me to a tie-breaker round with another cruise goer who also scored 19/20.
It all came down to one final question – how many episodes was Gunther in? I guessed 200 and the other competitor guessed 215. The correct answer given was 145, but as I’m fact-checking that number on Google, Wikipedia says 148 and the BBC says 185 and IMDB says 164.
So even though I am thrilled to have spent quality time in all 50 states, and time with my family in Alaska, I am ecstatic to be a twice-crowned trivia champion on Royal Caribbean’s Ovation of the Seas. The fact that it’s Twilight and Friends really does make me feel proud because of how much I loved the books and show.
Will this feat end up being my greatest achievement in all of 2026? Only time will tell! On Tuesday, I’m giving the keynote address at the Recycle Colorado Summit, and my agent is diligently at work on another of my manuscripts that will hopefully go on submission soon.
Let’s see what else the summer has in store for us ….
I had to use magic eraser to remove other people from this photo, which resulted in a bit of editing slop where interior is now misspelled!
Is it too early to be planning my summer? Perhaps if I lived seasonally, then yes, it is.
However, I live academically, and the semester officially ended last week. WOHOO!
So I consider May-August my own personal summer.
To be clear, I don’t stop working during May-August; and I am teaching in the second summer session from June 30-July 31. However, I certainly have more free time during these next few months, even with the summer session.
This summer, I also expect to have more free time because I am now on day 40 of a social media fast and a news diet (where I only read the news delivered to my inbox every Friday in a roundup of the most important stories). It’s amazing how much time opens up when you kill two activities that can accidentally turn into hours wasted.
What am I going to do with all my time? The same thing I did last summer! My friends, welcome to the Summer of Tsundoku, 2026 edition!
Tsundoku is a Japanese word for accumulating books and not reading them. For years, while we were nomads, I hardly ever kept books because they were so heavy to move from place to place. Now that we’ve been in Colorado for nearly two years, my minimalist ways have lapsed a bit when it comes to books.
The cognitive dissonance of being a minimalist while having a stuffed bookcase is quite uncomfortable, and since I am not going to shed my minimalist identity, my only choice is to read more books.
How did I get so many books?
I blame myself, of course, as I am the commander of my own behavior, as well as my desire to be a good literary citizen by supporting authors I know and/or like when they have new books come out. There’s also reading for the sake of my writing, in terms of improving craft and finding comp titles to share with my agent. Oh, and let’s not forget my writing accountability/critique partner is a more prolific reader than I am, and generously shares her books with me. Throw in the free little library by our house (as well as any free little library I come across) and my love of the Lafayette Library, which, in addition to offering a wealth of books to check out at my leisure, also offers a perpetual book sale to raise money to support itself, and it’s a perfect storm for Tsundoku.
As of May 1st, there were 36 books on my Summer of Tsundoku TBR list. You can see most of the books here:
Missing from this stack are Bad Badger: A Family Story by Maryrose Wood and illustrator Giulia Ghigini, a sequel to a book I adored so much in 2025 that I pre-ordered it weeks ago (publication date was May 5, 2026, and it’s currently on its way!),
and You’ve Been Pooping All Wrong: How to Make Your Bowel Movements a Joy by Trisha Pasricha, MD, MPH, a book that I am WILDLY EMBARRASSED to tell you about, but a book that is hands-down (or cheeks up*) one of the most entertaining, interesting, and informative non-fiction books I have EVER listened to, to the point that I am willing to overlook my embarrassment and share this book with anyone who wants to listen.
Seriously, get yourself a copy, or better yet, get the audio version because it’s narrated by the author, and she did a stellar job. I enjoyed the book so much that I will be buying a copy to keep (and read again), as well as getting one for my niece when I see her next week.
Anyway, as that book was an audiobook on my list, I couldn’t stack it on my crates.
For anyone wondering, yes, I believe 36 is a ridiculously high number, and, yes, I fully expect to fall short of the goal. My current reading pace in 2026 is an average of 6 books a month. Realistically, that would put me at 24 books by September 1. However, I like to aim high because you never know!
Also, as this is Mother’s Day, a special shout-out to my mom, who instilled this love of reading and books in me. I wouldn’t be able to consider 36 books this summer without her commitment to literacy in my life.
Let the Summer of Tsundoku begin!
*Credit for this joke goes to Charlaine Harris in Dead to the World, my favorite of the Sookie Stackhouse books (which I will likely listen to again this summer, but aren’t on my list because I use them as bedtime audio stories to help me fall asleep, and don’t give them my full attention).
I had the privilege and delight of spending spring break in Norfolk, CT. As you may remember, Heath and I housesat in Norfolk from 2016 to 2023, and I loved it there. Heath, not so much, and I promised him he would not turn 40 years old and still be living in Norfolk, so we left in May 2023 (approximately 5 days before his 40th birthday).
I visited last year, as well, for spring break to meet Lucy Honeybee, and, of course, because I missed many of my friends and friends who are like family.
Lucy Honeybee, left, and Annie Rose, right
This year, I also missed snow, cold, and winter, as Colorado is in a snow drought and experiencing unseasonably high temperatures. Although most people I saw in Norfolk had absolutely had it and were sick of winter, I was thrilled on my fourth morning there when I woke up to this winter wonderland.
As thrilled as I was to be in Norfolk, there were also many pangs of sadness. Since my last visit, two wonderful friends of mine have died (one was 102! And the other was only 51), and, the world also lost Annie, who I maintain may be the greatest Golden Retriever in the history of the world.
Lucy Honeybee has big paws to fill when it comes to Annie, and we try not to make too many comparisons or put too much pressure on her to be like Annie. She is an incredibly smart, sweet, and affectionate dog who is easy to love, and when she’s not so easy to love because of her puppy biting, we put her in “puppy jail” which is to say she gets to lounge in the kitchen until we have deemed her rehabilitated.
The kitchen really is a great place for her to be, as she has access to two oversized dog beds, plenty of toys, and two comfy chairs to choose from, as well as a glass door through which she can gaze longingly at the outside world.
Lucy in puppy jail
Every morning, I took Lucy for a romp in the woods, which is how I often spent my time with Annie. In some ways, they are very similar to each other.
For example, look at their ears!
Or how they run ….
Or their love of big sticks!
In one big way, they are very different. I noticed it when I scrolled through my photos after the first walk.
Look at Lucy’s tail, I thought. It’s so fluffy.
Wait. Annie had a tail, too.
Why have I never noticed Annie’s tail before?
Having about ten thousand photos of Annie, I immediately scrolled through them looking for evidence of Annie’s tail.
And I found it. It’s just not expressive like Lucy’s. There’s no plumage. There’s no lift. It was just kind of there, usually down or out.
Annie’s Down or Out Tail
I did manage to find one photo with some lift to it.
It’s funny how you may never notice something until the opposite presents itself to you.
Once back in Colorado, I felt utterly exhausted and in need of a break from my spring break. Unfortunately, I didn’t get one as the semester geared right back up and we’re in the home stretch until finals.
It’s a small price to pay for so much Norfolk love.
I recently had a teaching experience that surpassed many others in my life. On February 25th, I presented at the CU Psychology Club on “Why Is Heated Rivalry Hot!” I described the presentation as a look at the intersection between psychology, neuroscience, and storytelling through Nassim Nicholas Taleb’s Black Swan framework.
Now, I am by no means an expert on gay hockey romance. I do, however, have strong credentials for discussing what makes a good story, having studied writing and storytelling for the past 11 years. I’ve also been teaching college-level psychology since I started graduate school in 1999 and became a full-time instructor in 2007, so I know something about how the mind works.
I also had the enthusiasm and support of the psych club behind the presentation. In January, when they asked me to present, they suggested a few ideas. The psych club president then asked me what I wanted to talk about. I jokingly answered that I would like to talk for 45 minutes about Heated Rivalry, having just finished the show and reading book 2 in the series over winter break.
I was mostly kidding. The response from the psych club was so gleeful, we decided, why not?
I have given many lectures in my life. As a teaching assistant and teaching fellow in grad school, I taught psych stats. My first go-around in teaching was predominantly stats, research methods, and a capstone course where students complete a senior thesis, with an occasional general psychology or upper-level course taught every so often.
Here at CU, I’ve been thrilled to shift to general psychology and upper-level lab/methods courses in positive psychology and conservation psychology. And I enjoy it so much!
But I have never had the chance to give a lecture that combined what I love best about stories with some really cool research on psychology.
I was so excited!
In the weeks leading up to the presentation, I knew that there was a lot of positive chatter about it, and on the day of the presentation, we had a good showing. What I was not expecting was how attentive the students would be.
Laptops, iPads, and smartphones weren’t the norm in the classroom when I left teaching in 2016. Nearly every student uses them now. On any given day when I lecture, I compete against billions upon billions of distractions all at the touch of a student’s finger.
So imagine my delight when the entire classroom gave me their undivided attention for a solid 50 minutes. I didn’t see one student on a device, and at one point, everyone was so excited after I asked a question that it took a few tries to get them to quiet down.
I worry a lot for this generation and the damage that social media has inflicted upon them, not to mention how their attention has been stolen for the sake of monetization and capitalism.
Why Is Heated Rivalry Hot showed me that it is possible to be focused in our chaotic, oversaturated, and overstimulated world.
Ten years ago, on January 20, 2016, I sat down next to a handsome stranger at the bar at Lou Malnatti’s Pizza on Jefferson Ave in Naperville, IL, instead of sitting with anyone in the writers’ group I had just met. Twenty-two days later, on February 12, 2016, we eloped at the courthouse in Nashville, where this handsome stranger lived. It’s now been 10 years, so for all those who bet against us, it’s time to pay up!
Last year, when I was telling some students this story after relationship expert and researcher Ty Tashiro presented in one of my upper-level psychology classes, a student asked me how I had known my future husband would be a good man. There were many things that night when I first met Heath that I was attracted to, but what I told the student was that it came down to three things: 1) He teared up when talking about his dog, Lana, who was had died from cancer a few years prior; 2) He had a curiosity for knowledge and read more books than anyone else I had ever met; 3) He didn’t enjoy his job but he was giving it 110% anyway.
Ten years later, Heath has shown me time and time again that I wasn’t wrong. Of course, there’s so much more to him than those three characteristics! So, without further ado, here’s my updated list of 10 specific things that I love about Heath:
When we walk around Waneka Lake together, he always heads to the Free Little Library to see what treasures he’ll find.
As a surprise for 2026, he made me a day-by-day calendar that features snapshots from our life together.
He believes in my writing so much that sometimes he calls me Stephanie King, and he also insists that when my books do get published, I have to get special edition embellished versions made just for him.
He wants to befriend a murder of crows, and he’s already picked out names for some of them, including Carl, Steve, and Hippocrates.
He bought us a bird bath for our backyard to make it more hospitable for wildlife.
He sat at the table the other day, watched some squirrels for about 10 minutes, and then declared, “Squirrels are hilarious.”
When I gave him the “Guess the Book Title” holiday game from my Romancing the Tropes book club holiday party, not only did he play the game once, but when he realized these were actual published books, he asked to play again so he could put more effort into it.*
When I went down with the flu in December, the day before my niece arrived for the holidays, Heath took the day that she arrived off from work, picked her up at the airport, and then spent the entire day with her in Boulder so I wouldn’t have to worry about them.
Even though I have not yet kept my promise of watching one violent movie a month with him (provided it’s during the afternoon and not evening), he doesn’t give me too hard a time about it.
This is an oldie, but goodie and has been on my list before: 10 years in, and no matter how many times I pick up a banana, say hello, and then hand it to Heath, he says hello and pretends to have a conversation with someone.
Happy Anniversary, Heath! I’m so glad we found each other.
February 7. 2016
*If anyone would like the answer key to this game, please let me know. Also, shout out to Vanessa in my book club who created it!
