I had the privilege and delight of spending spring break in Norfolk, CT. As you may remember, Heath and I housesat in Norfolk from 2016 to 2023, and I loved it there. Heath, not so much, and I promised him he would not turn 40 years old and still be living in Norfolk, so we left in May 2023 (approximately 5 days before his 40th birthday).
I visited last year, as well, for spring break to meet Lucy Honeybee, and, of course, because I missed many of my friends and friends who are like family.
Lucy Honeybee, left, and Annie Rose, right
This year, I also missed snow, cold, and winter, as Colorado is in a snow drought and experiencing unseasonably high temperatures. Although most people I saw in Norfolk had absolutely had it and were sick of winter, I was thrilled on my fourth morning there when I woke up to this winter wonderland.
As thrilled as I was to be in Norfolk, there were also many pangs of sadness. Since my last visit, two wonderful friends of mine have died (one was 102! And the other was only 51), and, the world also lost Annie, who I maintain may be the greatest Golden Retriever in the history of the world.
Lucy Honeybee has big paws to fill when it comes to Annie, and we try not to make too many comparisons or put too much pressure on her to be like Annie. She is an incredibly smart, sweet, and affectionate dog who is easy to love, and when she’s not so easy to love because of her puppy biting, we put her in “puppy jail” which is to say she gets to lounge in the kitchen until we have deemed her rehabilitated.
The kitchen really is a great place for her to be, as she has access to two oversized dog beds, plenty of toys, and two comfy chairs to choose from, as well as a glass door through which she can gaze longingly at the outside world.
Lucy in puppy jail
Every morning, I took Lucy for a romp in the woods, which is how I often spent my time with Annie. In some ways, they are very similar to each other.
For example, look at their ears!
Or how they run ….
Or their love of big sticks!
In one big way, they are very different. I noticed it when I scrolled through my photos after the first walk.
Look at Lucy’s tail, I thought. It’s so fluffy.
Wait. Annie had a tail, too.
Why have I never noticed Annie’s tail before?
Having about ten thousand photos of Annie, I immediately scrolled through them looking for evidence of Annie’s tail.
And I found it. It’s just not expressive like Lucy’s. There’s no plumage. There’s no lift. It was just kind of there, usually down or out.
Annie’s Down or Out Tail
I did manage to find one photo with some lift to it.
It’s funny how you may never notice something until the opposite presents itself to you.
Once back in Colorado, I felt utterly exhausted and in need of a break from my spring break. Unfortunately, I didn’t get one as the semester geared right back up and we’re in the home stretch until finals.
It’s a small price to pay for so much Norfolk love.
I recently had a teaching experience that surpassed many others in my life. On February 25th, I presented at the CU Psychology Club on “Why Is Heated Rivalry Hot!” I described the presentation as a look at the intersection between psychology, neuroscience, and storytelling through Nassim Nicholas Taleb’s Black Swan framework.
Now, I am by no means an expert on gay hockey romance. I do, however, have strong credentials for discussing what makes a good story, having studied writing and storytelling for the past 11 years. I’ve also been teaching college-level psychology since I started graduate school in 1999 and became a full-time instructor in 2007, so I know something about how the mind works.
I also had the enthusiasm and support of the psych club behind the presentation. In January, when they asked me to present, they suggested a few ideas. The psych club president then asked me what I wanted to talk about. I jokingly answered that I would like to talk for 45 minutes about Heated Rivalry, having just finished the show and reading book 2 in the series over winter break.
I was mostly kidding. The response from the psych club was so gleeful, we decided, why not?
I have given many lectures in my life. As a teaching assistant and teaching fellow in grad school, I taught psych stats. My first go-around in teaching was predominantly stats, research methods, and a capstone course where students complete a senior thesis, with an occasional general psychology or upper-level course taught every so often.
Here at CU, I’ve been thrilled to shift to general psychology and upper-level lab/methods courses in positive psychology and conservation psychology. And I enjoy it so much!
But I have never had the chance to give a lecture that combined what I love best about stories with some really cool research on psychology.
I was so excited!
In the weeks leading up to the presentation, I knew that there was a lot of positive chatter about it, and on the day of the presentation, we had a good showing. What I was not expecting was how attentive the students would be.
Laptops, iPads, and smartphones weren’t the norm in the classroom when I left teaching in 2016. Nearly every student uses them now. On any given day when I lecture, I compete against billions upon billions of distractions all at the touch of a student’s finger.
So imagine my delight when the entire classroom gave me their undivided attention for a solid 50 minutes. I didn’t see one student on a device, and at one point, everyone was so excited after I asked a question that it took a few tries to get them to quiet down.
I worry a lot for this generation and the damage that social media has inflicted upon them, not to mention how their attention has been stolen for the sake of monetization and capitalism.
Why Is Heated Rivalry Hot showed me that it is possible to be focused in our chaotic, oversaturated, and overstimulated world.
Ten years ago, on January 20, 2016, I sat down next to a handsome stranger at the bar at Lou Malnatti’s Pizza on Jefferson Ave in Naperville, IL, instead of sitting with anyone in the writers’ group I had just met. Twenty-two days later, on February 12, 2016, we eloped at the courthouse in Nashville, where this handsome stranger lived. It’s now been 10 years, so for all those who bet against us, it’s time to pay up!
Last year, when I was telling some students this story after relationship expert and researcher Ty Tashiro presented in one of my upper-level psychology classes, a student asked me how I had known my future husband would be a good man. There were many things that night when I first met Heath that I was attracted to, but what I told the student was that it came down to three things: 1) He teared up when talking about his dog, Lana, who was had died from cancer a few years prior; 2) He had a curiosity for knowledge and read more books than anyone else I had ever met; 3) He didn’t enjoy his job but he was giving it 110% anyway.
Ten years later, Heath has shown me time and time again that I wasn’t wrong. Of course, there’s so much more to him than those three characteristics! So, without further ado, here’s my updated list of 10 specific things that I love about Heath:
When we walk around Waneka Lake together, he always heads to the Free Little Library to see what treasures he’ll find.
As a surprise for 2026, he made me a day-by-day calendar that features snapshots from our life together.
He believes in my writing so much that sometimes he calls me Stephanie King, and he also insists that when my books do get published, I have to get special edition embellished versions made just for him.
He wants to befriend a murder of crows, and he’s already picked out names for some of them, including Carl, Steve, and Hippocrates.
He bought us a bird bath for our backyard to make it more hospitable for wildlife.
He sat at the table the other day, watched some squirrels for about 10 minutes, and then declared, “Squirrels are hilarious.”
When I gave him the “Guess the Book Title” holiday game from my Romancing the Tropes book club holiday party, not only did he play the game once, but when he realized these were actual published books, he asked to play again so he could put more effort into it.*
When I went down with the flu in December, the day before my niece arrived for the holidays, Heath took the day that she arrived off from work, picked her up at the airport, and then spent the entire day with her in Boulder so I wouldn’t have to worry about them.
Even though I have not yet kept my promise of watching one violent movie a month with him (provided it’s during the afternoon and not evening), he doesn’t give me too hard a time about it.
This is an oldie, but goodie and has been on my list before: 10 years in, and no matter how many times I pick up a banana, say hello, and then hand it to Heath, he says hello and pretends to have a conversation with someone.
Happy Anniversary, Heath! I’m so glad we found each other.
February 7. 2016
*If anyone would like the answer key to this game, please let me know. Also, shout out to Vanessa in my book club who created it!
When I think of the parts of my life I can control (unlike the horrific timeline of current events we’re living through), I’m pretty satisfied. I have routines and activities that bring me small moments of joy, and every so often, there are big moments of joy, like traveling somewhere new, visiting family/friends whom I haven’t seen in a while, or any time a puppy joins a family.
Lucy Honeybee joined my friend’s family last year
If I had to say anything was missing right now, it would be a lack of collective effervescence in my life.
For those of you who don’t know, collective effervescence is a sociological concept coined by Émile Durkheim describing the intense, electric energy and emotional, shared, or spiritual high experienced by individuals when they come together in a group for rituals, performances, or collective actions.
The pandemic stole this away from a lot of people for years, and I’ve written before about the first time I experienced it after the world “opened back up.”
But I don’t experience it very often these days. One reason is that I don’t go to a lot of events that naturally lends itself to collective effervescence, such as sporting events or concerts.
I also live in an area with lots and lots of people, and consequently, lots and lots of events and activities on any given day. These aspects of big town living can also dilute collective effervescence simply because of all the choices and, still being relatively new to the area, I don’t necessarily know the people I’m with, so there are no already established emotional connections.
That’s why this past Friday night was such a treat for me!
With a group of three other people, two of whom are friends from my romancing the tropes book club at the Westminster Library, we attended an Earlybirds Club Dance Party at the Fox Theater in Boulder.
I have been waiting YEARS for an early bird movement to change when events are offered (no late nights for this narcoleptic), and while I’m still waiting for this to catch on, the women at Earlybird Club Dance Party are doing their best to make sure this happens.
The Earybirds Club Dance Party tag line is “A dance party for ladies who have sh*t to do in the morning.” It started at 6pm and ended at 10pm (still a little late for me), but, OMGosh! Friday night was so much fun and far exceeded all my expectations.
Everyone there was happy and carefree. The music was from the 70s to today, the energy felt electric, and there were zero expectations that you had to do anything but dance. Although there was a lot of belting out of lyrics by all of us.
About halfway through, the local Early Bird Club “ambassador” took the stage. I turned to my group and said, “If this turns out to be a cult, sign me up!”
The ambassador spoke about the struggles of women right now, and some of the loudest cheers were in response to her statement about how hard it is to make dinner for ourselves every single night for the rest of our lives. She then told us that tonight, “All you have to do is dance!”
So we did.
The night was collective effervescence at its very best, and I hope the Early Bird Club comes back to Boulder soon.
The irony of the grammatical discordance between the theme and logo is not lost on me. Let’s hope my reflection and direction are a bit more mindful in 2026.
Here are my goals for 2026:
A lot of my 26 in 26 goals are repeats. Although it’s a little boring, I suppose it means that I’m figuring out what works best for me and sticking with it.
Because I ended last year with the flu and started this year still coughing, some of my new monthly goals won’t begin until February. I made this decision because I was already feeling stressed with the spring 2026 semester fast approaching two weeks ago, and I am sincere that this is the year I want to reduce my work stress (see goal #1 under Professional Development).
Also, given that I was so sick at the end of December, all my 25 in 25 goal stats are based on data collected from January 1, 2025, to December 20, 2026 (the day I first felt symptoms of the flu).
Speaking of which, let’s see how I did with my 25 in 25 goals!
Intentionally move for at least 25 minutes per day.
Gold star! I only missed 18 days this year, and I likely walked on some of those days for transportation (like getting to and from the bus stop), which I don’t count for this goal.
Train to do a pull-up 2-5 times per week.
Bronze star! Training to do a pull-up was frustrating and fun. I managed to do a few pull-ups with a foot-push assist, and I did a few chin-ups, and I hit my target every week when I wasn’t resting. Every so often, though, my rotator cuff would YELL at me to stop. As hard as it was, I did. I ended up needing to rest my shoulder for 6 weeks total between January 1 and October 1, and then I gave up training to do a pull-up altogether after October 1 because the pain kept coming back.
In November and December, I went back to plain old strength-training two times a week. It was still much less intense than my original goal, but it kept me active while at the same time protecting my shoulder.
I’m hoping that by using very light weights for the first few months of the year, I can bring back pull-up training in the summertime.
Make 2-5 home-cooked meals per week for me and Heath.
Needs improvement! While I significantly increased the number of home-cooked meals I made last year, I did not hit my 2-5 goal. In looking at the data, everything fell apart in May and December, which, not coincidentally, is the end of the spring and fall semesters. This year I’ll make sure to plan for those busier-than-usual times and see if that makes a difference.
Drink 2-5 smoothies per week.
Bronze star! I didn’t meet my goal during 8 weeks this year. One of the changes I made that helped a lot was buying Suja Supergreens from Costco. While I hate purchasing single-use plastics, I also hate throwing out food that’s gone bad. I kept having to freeze spinach because I wouldn’t use it in time and that spinach didn’t always taste the best. Drinking the Suja Supergreens also means I don’t have to use the blender in the morning when Heath is still sleeping.
Do yoga 2-5 times per month.
Platinum star! I did yoga 60 times in 2025. YAY!
Attend 25 or more cold plunges.
Gold star! I attended 25 cold plunges. This year, I cut my total in half. The cold plunge group I attend only meets Saturday mornings, and I started having to work for the university a few Saturdays throughout the semester. With that new commitment, travel, and writing events that often happen on Saturday, I have to make tough choices. I tried cold plunging on my own, but without the group for support and camaraderie, my anxiety overwhelmed me as I worried about an emergency and no one being around to help me.
Buy a pair of ice skates and ice skate 25 times or more.
Black and white star! Black and white because I replaced this goal with getting a piano (haha) and playing it 2-5 times per week.
Although I really, really want to get back into ice skating, I have this fear that the vertigo I experience every time I’m on an amusement park ride will transfer over to the ice. I don’t want to invest in a good pair of skates just for me not to be able to use them, and I’m too good a skater just to buy a pair of cheap skates.
Gold star! I only missed 19 days of meditation this year (most of which are when I’m visiting friends/family).
Practice 2-5 minutes of breathwork 2-5 times per week.
Still needs improvement! This goal was a carry-over from 20224. I missed my target seven weeks in 2025. For 2026, I decided to revise this goal to “bus breathwork,” meaning that when I get to the bus stop (which I ride the bus four days a week), I’ll do my breathing exercises there. This should work out well because I worry about missing the bus, and I always get there super early.
Despite having ALL YEAR to complete this goal, I waited until the last minute. This was the “last thing” I did before I succumbed to my flu symptoms. At first, I thought I wouldn’t make it. All kinds of anxious thoughts swirled through my mind. Then, when I checked my watch, 45 minutes had passed, and suddenly my thinking went from there’s no way I can do this to of course I can do this!.
My art choice!
Walk around Waneka Lake 2-5 times per week.
DIAMOND STAR! I walked around Waneka Lake 185 times last year. WOOHOO!
Volunteer 2-5 times per month at the Boulder Valley Humane Society.
This goal was one of the hardest. When I made it, I didn’t realize that the BVHS has MANY volunteers and volunteer shifts get snatched up quickly. I volunteered 25 times last year (2-hour shifts each time), though in May I only volunteered once. It wasn’t for lack of trying! I kept checking the volunteer portal every day to see if someone cancelled. I suppose I can’t be too mad that I didn’t meet my goal because they have so many volunteers.
Hike 2-5 times with Heath on a new trail in Colorado.
Gold star! We hiked at Garden of the Gods in May, Boulder Valley Ranch Open Space in June, Rallins Pass in July, Long Canyon Trail in September, and Loch Vale in Rocky Mountain National Park in October.
Watch 25 sunrises outside.
Diamond star! I watched 86 sunrises while walking around Waneka Lake.
Visit Pennsylvania, Connecticut, North Carolina, Tennessee, Nebraska, and Oklahoma.
Gold star! Our trip to Oklahoma was also our 4-day “weekend” getaway.
Attend 2-5 webinars/classes/workshops on teaching.
Gold star! I attended workshops on resilience in college students, motivational interviewing, mental health first aid, large lecture classes, and multiple sessions on teaching general psychology over the course of a weekend at the PSYCH ONE Conference at Duke University.
Attend 2-5 webinars/classes/workshops on starting and maintaining a Substack.
Silver Star! I attended two webinars, and what I learned is that I DON’T want a Substack. The company is not yet profitable, and because they’re still figuring things out, I’m not confident that they’re not going to turn into one more social media platform that goes against more moral values.
Revise 2-5 manuscripts I’ve already written.
Silver star! I revised one YA romcom based on feedback from my agent and one adult grounded romantasy based on feedback from my amazing beta readers (you know who you are).
Write 2-5 first drafts or outlines of new manuscripts.
Gold star! Not only did I write outlines for three new manuscripts, but I also wrote almost 70,000 words for a dual POV adult romcom during National Novel Writing Month.
Dedicate 2-5 hours per week to the Novel Academy during their six-month program (starts January 15).
BOO! NO! It’s time to accept that I don’t do well with multi-week classes where I have to show up at a certain time/day every week. It’s too stressful to fit into my schedule and sucks the joy from it.
Write and post 25 new blog posts.
BOO! NO! I only wrote 16. This year, I’m setting the bar low at 18. Maybe I’ll pleasantly surprise myself.
Give 2-5 psychology presentations to lay audiences (ie., not students).
Diamond star! Over the summer, I volunteered with Eco-Cycle to offer an 8-week Summer of Sustainable Change program using the book Atomic Habits as our “textbook.” I also partnered with another Eco-Leader in December for a program on the psychology of gift-giving. I gave the lecture and my partner led everyone in making zero-waste homemade Christmas tags.
So that was my 2025! I did good 😊
And for anyone keeping track at home, I also met 108 new dogs in 2025.
Lucy Honeybee, whom I met in March and stole my heart.
The New Year is often a time of reflection and meditation for me. For the last 10 years, I’ve spent time in December and January thinking about where I am and where I want to be. I imagine what it would be like if I knew that the new year was my last on Earth. What would I want to do differently, and what would I keep the same?
Wolf Supermoon, January 2026
This year, however, I felt resistant to such self-reflection. Maybe I was tired of thinking about myself. Maybe I was bored with the practice. Maybe it’s because I had the worst flu I’ve ever had, which started on December 20th, and I’m still coughing.
Regardless, I didn’t want to do it.
And, yet. I did it anyway. Is this discipline? Tradition? Insanity? Who knows.
All I can say is that the one thing I really want in 2026 (that is under my control) is not to feel so stressed during the school year. The contributing factors to this stress are: 1) fatigue; 2) lack of focus; 3) procrastination; and 4) disorganization.
I’m hoping that the fatigue and lack of focus will improve as the iron infusion I received on December 18th continues to build in my body. It turns out that a lot of the symptoms I had that I associated with narcolepsy, such as fatigue, brain fog, and lack of focus, are more likely associated with an iron deficiency that I have had for several years that doctors didn’t fully address, than my chronic sleep disorder. Once my PCP here had me get tested and retested, and I also began to pay attention, I realized that there is a BIG difference between sleepiness (narcolepsy) and fatigue (iron deficiency).
This information is important for helping me manage all my symptoms, and I’m glad to finally understand why nothing was working with the narcolepsy treatments I was trying, but come on! I’ve been struggling for years. This is one of the reasons I hate healthcare and the insurance industry in the United States.
Another reason is that it took me from July to December to see the right doctor for iron deficiency and then get insurance to approve for the infusion. Now that I’ve been infused, I should start to see more improvement over the next several weeks.
If that happens, then I’ll re-focus on improving my sleep again. But as I told my sleep doctor, there’s no point trying to sort out the sleepiness while my ferritin levels make daily living nearly impossible.
In the meantime, I have some strategies to work on the procrastination and disorganization issues that created stress at my job over the last three semesters. Most importantly, because I often regularly forget what I have to do and when I have to do it, I will spend 15 to 30 minutes at the end of every teaching day writing and updating a to-do list of what needs to be done and when. I’ll also write some notes on how each class went and what, if anything, I could do differently and/or improve for the next class or the next semester.
I’ve used to-do lists in the past to some success, but I’ve never kept one consistently. So I’m hoping by having a to-do list and reflection as a daily task that I can track, I’ll keep on top of my tasks better.
I’ve also identified how this strategy could go wrong, and I suspect the biggest impediment will be that I get very hungry by the end of my teaching day (which will end at 4:45pm, Monday-Thursday this semester), and I take the bus home, so there’s often a significant delay between finishing teaching and getting home to decent food. I often want to get home ASAP so I can start making dinner.
These issues mean that I’ll need to bring something substantial and high quality for me to eat Monday-Thursday, so I’m not thinking about dinner after class and when I can get home, but instead I’ll have the time I want to reflect on my classes and organize myself with the to-do list.
I can’t say I enjoy eating dinner at work; at the same time, I also don’t enjoy the stress of not feeling prepared and feeling like I’m falling behind, either. And, because I’m not willing to change my teaching schedule, dinner at work is the option I’m willing to work with this semester.
However, going back a step further, what this really means is I’ll have to prepare dinner in advance of leaving for school in the morning or early afternoon, so I can bring it with me.
What will be most important is to mindfully evaluate my progress in real time because I really don’t want all that stress this year. Reducing this stress is my number one priority because it’s taking away a lot of the joy I have in my return to teaching
I think I can do it! Time will tell, and, of course, I’ll share my progress here. In fact, I am so committed to reducing my work stress this year, that I made “reflection and direction” my 2026 theme.
On November 24th, a bright light in my world darkened. That was the day my beloved golden-wise friend, Annie, breathed her last.
When I started typing this blog post, I originally wrote as the first sentence: On November 24th, a bright golden light in my world went out. Within seconds, I felt in my heart that it wasn’t true because Annie and her golden-wise ways will never truly be extinguished from my life. Even with my very active imagination, I cannot think of any circumstance in which I would ever forget our times romping in the woods together, her belly flops into the swimming pool, or her general otherworldliness that had me convinced she was a divine being wearing a dog costume so she could experience life on Earth.
I knew and loved Annie for over 6 years while I lived in Norfolk, CT, and that didn’t stop after we left in May 2023. We’ve taken hundreds of walks together in the Barbour Woods, one of my favorite places in the world. Annie’s joy of running wild in the woods served as the inspiration for the first young adult romcom I ever wrote, and my relationship with her and her human mom took me to Seattle, WA, in the summer of 2023, where I met Annie’s nephew, Arnold, and wrote a story about him for a middle-grade audience.
One of my favorite things about Annie is the little rhrr, rhrr, rhrr noises she made whenever anyone she loved visited her house (which was pretty much anyone she knew). She would lean into you, wagging the entire backside of her body, and rhrr away, mostly because she was happy to see you, but also, I suspect, because she saw that person as a potential walking mate in the woods. Just like how I love the Barbour Woods, so did Annie! One time, her mom reported to Heath that she looked out the window one day, and Annie was trotting along the trail on her own. She took herself for a walk! We all laughed and loved it.
I also taught her the word vamos, which is Spanish for let’s go! It only took her a few days to learn, and she knew how to listen for it when I came over because that meant it was a walk visit and not a visit visit, which I sometimes occasionally did.
The last time I saw Annie in person was in March 2025. I visited because a new puppy, Lucy Honeybee, and Annie’s great great great niece (I think I got the greats correct) had joined Annie’s family, and I wanted Lucy to know me during this critical stage in her life. And, of course, to visit Annie and her human mom.
Beleaguered is the best word Annie’s mom came up with for how Annie experienced Lucy, and it provided us with a lot of love, affection, and laughter for observing their relationship. I made it a point to take Annie on no-puppies-allowed walks so she could enjoy the peace and quiet of the woods without the worry of what Lucy was doing, where she was going, what she was putting in her mouth, or how she was jumping on top of Annie. I’m so glad I made the time to do that because those walks are now my last walks with Annie, and for being my last new memories, they’re pretty good.
My only regret during that time is that, according to my year-end review of Google Photos, I took 191 photos of Lucy and only 189 photos of Annie. Rationally, I know 2 photos are insignificant. Now that’s Annie gone, I want her to be on top one final time. Not that Lucy’s not ridiculously cute. Her golden-almost-wise ways are just so very different from Annie’s.
Not good or bad, just different, and I look forward to getting to know her.
However, it will never be the same as when I was living in Norfolk, and that’s why Annie’s death continues to hit me hard. With every passing day, my connection to Norfolk and the Northwest corner of Connecticut breaks a little bit more. I miss my friends, dogs, and the woods there very much.
Goodbye, Annie Rose. You may be gone from this world, but in my heart and stories, you remain a spark of gold forevermore.
Since moving to Lafayette, Colorado, one of my favorite activities is walking around Waneka Lake. This lake has everything – the Rocky Mountains in the backdrop, pelicans, egrets, herons, raptors, ducks, red-winged black birds, and more, bunnies galore, and plenty of humans walking their dogs, so I can say hi to all of them and even be welcomed to pet some of them. I could not ask for a better way to start my day.
Which is why I walked around the lake every morning this summer for seven weeks straight! Now, I do a lot of mental and physical health care in my mornings. I meditate, move, write, and, most importantly, stay off my phone, with the occasional exception of playing Wordle, Connections, and Strands when my brain needs a quicker dopamine hit.
Speaking of Wordle, I guessed it on my first try yesterday!
Anyway, all these morning behaviors take up quite a bit of time. It’s a luxury over the summer to have the time to be so leisurely. Such is the privilege of being a college professor.
Alas, once the start of the fall semester crept closer in August, my morning walks went back to my originally scheduled goal of “walk around Waneka Lakes two to five times per week.” Two is the bare minimum that would still make me feel like I’m connecting with my local community, landscape, and nature.
I still remember the disappointment I felt on August 11th when I had to make the difficult choice of prioritizing what morning activities to do. That was the first time since June 4th that I didn’t walk around the lake that morning.
So it begins, I thought.
I knew the first day of not walking around was coming. That didn’t make it any easier.
Since then, I’ve kept up with my original goal. I walk around the lake a minimum of two times per week, and sometimes I’m still able to get in three to four walks. Some mornings it’s a tough call – do I walk around the lake, lift weights, spend the time with Heath before he heads to his job, work on writing, etc.
Without fail, every time I choose to prioritize walking around the lake, I have the same thought: this is never the wrong decision.
Today was the first day in a long time when I’ve felt breathing room in my upcoming week, and so I didn’t have to worry about prioritizing one of my morning rituals when deciding how to spend my time. Even though it’s the first truly cold day of the fall (a brisk 25 degrees Fahrenheit), I relished the crispness of the air and the bite of the cold against my nose.
Within minutes of being on the lake path, I said hello to a woman with her dog in a dapper red sweater, waved at a jogger, and marveled at how clear the Rockies looked in the distance. As I rounded the top of the lake, words started flowing for the manuscript I’m working on for Novel November to the point that I had to stop at a bench, take off my mittens, and type away on my phone, lest I forget the ideas by the time I got back home to my computer.
Yep. Never the wrong decision.
As I was walking around the lake this morning, I wondered what it would be like if I set myself the goal of walking around the lake every morning. That would likely mean I would have to let go of something else in my mornings. I wasn’t opposed to it, but I also wasn’t sure how that would play out in real life. It’s something I’m going to think about as my 2025 comes to a close and I consider how I want to spend the next calendar year of my life.
In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy the lake as much as I can.
When I think of something small that brings me joy, it’s animals in party hats.
Or any hat, really.
I have celebrated holidays this way and wished friends happy birthday this way.
For my first birthday with Heath, I asked for the dogs, cats, and goats we were taking care of to wear party hats. Heath delivered in the most unexpected and delightful way possible. He bought party hats for the dogs and photoshopped party hats onto the other animals, as well as some of my friends who sent in photos for the occasion. In the photo below, you can see one of the goats in the upper left corner, and that’s my niece in a turkey hat taped to the chair.
I even relegated a dog to prison this way at a friend’s request.
I look at these creations with a source of pride and hilarity that keeps me motivated like nothing else to keep producing them just for fun.
For years, animals in party hats have brought me joy.
So, as you can imagine, when I was given the chance at a writing conference last weekend to ask author and illustrator Sophie Blackall about her book If We Were Dogs, I asked the most pressing question on my mind – other than dogs, what other animals should wear party hats?
Her answer was perfect – all of them!
I bought the book, had her sign it, and we laughed at how much we love animals in party hats.
At the end of the conference, Sophie was the closing keynote speaker. She gave us a wonderful and inspiring lecture on the lessons she had learned along the way to being a Caldecott Medal illustrator and NY-Times best-selling author.
When she was finished speaking, Sophie held up five signed prints of the If We Were Dogs book cover.
She announced that she would give them to whoever wanted one, with the caveat that the person had to give it to someone else.
My hand, which had been ready to shoot into the air, stayed at my side. I didn’t know who would love that print more than me. So I didn’t ask for one.
Sophie came into the crowd to hand out the prints. She immediately headed to our table and handed the first one to my friend sitting beside me.
Lucky, I thought. Who is Tiffany going to give this to?
The second Sophie put the print in Tiffany’s hand, she immediately gave it to me.
You’d think I could have seen that coming. I did not. So much so that the surprise and appreciation I felt in that moment manifested as tears, surrounded by a table of children’s book authors and illustrators. It wasn’t only that Tiffany knew that I would love to have the print. It was also the speed at which she acted. She totally gets me, and if that’s not friendship, I don’t know what is.
As the world continues to devolve into cruelty and destruction, these small moments of joy are what help me get through the day. How lucky I am to know that the little things matter.
And luckier still that those little things include animals in hats.
I had the privilege of meeting Jane Goodall on December 9, 2015. We were both in Paris for COP-21, the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change. The thing that struck me most about that meeting was how beautiful she was, even at the age of 81.
It’s hard to put into words her beauty. She had a natural grace about her and an air of quiet, thoughtful contemplation. She also possessed a sharp mind and quick wit. Before we met, I had heard her present the night before at the 2015 Equator Prize Award Ceremony of the United Nations Development Programme, where she bantered with Alec Baldwin and, at one point, appeared out of nowhere onto the stage with a quip that had us in the audience roaring with laughter. I wish I could remember what she said.
It is her eyes, though, that have stayed with me over the years. Or rather, the light in them. Clear, vibrant. Luminous. She shone from the inside out, and I do not mean this metaphorically. The light that Jane Goodall radiates is what happens when one lives their entire life with passion and purpose.
I spoke of my encounter with Jane often. Most recently, on October 1, 2025, her name came up while I was teaching my newest class at the University of Colorado, Research Methods in Conservation Psychology. I shared with the students the circumstances of our meeting and mentioned her beauty and presence. A student commented that she hoped people spoke about her that way when she was that old.
We didn’t know of Jane’s death at that time.
The next day, I met with a student during office hours. He asked me if I had heard about Jane’s death and marvelled that we had been talking about her so positively the previous day.
That’s how we all should live. So that even if you have a chance encounter with one person over 10 years ago, they will still remember how you are a light of the world, and they will tell everyone who will listen how beautiful you were.
Shine on, my friends! It’s now more important than ever.
