Tag Archives: Friends

A Tale of Tails

I had the privilege and delight of spending spring break in Norfolk, CT. As you may remember, Heath and I housesat in Norfolk from 2016 to 2023, and I loved it there. Heath, not so much, and I promised him he would not turn 40 years old and still be living in Norfolk, so we left in May 2023 (approximately 5 days before his 40^th birthday).

I visited last year, as well, for spring break to meet Lucy Honeybee, and, of course, because I missed many of my friends and friends who are like family.

A golden retriever puppy runs in the woods with an adult golden retriever dog

Lucy Honeybee, left, and Annie Rose, right

This year, I also missed snow, cold, and winter, as Colorado is in a snow drought and experiencing unseasonably high temperatures. Although most people I saw in Norfolk had absolutely had it and were sick of winter, I was thrilled on my fourth morning there when I woke up to this winter wonderland.

As thrilled as I was to be in Norfolk, there were also many pangs of sadness. Since my last visit, two wonderful friends of mine have died (one was 102! And the other was only 51), and, the world also lost Annie, who I maintain may be the greatest Golden Retriever in the history of the world.

Lucy Honeybee has big paws to fill when it comes to Annie, and we try not to make too many comparisons or put too much pressure on her to be like Annie. She is an incredibly smart, sweet, and affectionate dog who is easy to love, and when she’s not so easy to love because of her puppy biting, we put her in “puppy jail” which is to say she gets to lounge in the kitchen until we have deemed her rehabilitated.

The kitchen really is a great place for her to be, as she has access to two oversized dog beds, plenty of toys, and two comfy chairs to choose from, as well as a glass door through which she can gaze longingly at the outside world.

A golden retriever sleeps on a lounge chair

Lucy in puppy jail

Every morning, I took Lucy for a romp in the woods, which is how I often spent my time with Annie. In some ways, they are very similar to each other.

For example, look at their ears!

Or how they run ….

Or their love of big sticks!

In one big way, they are very different. I noticed it when I scrolled through my photos after the first walk.

Look at Lucy’s tail, I thought. It’s so fluffy.

Wait. Annie had a tail, too.

Why have I never noticed Annie’s tail before?

Having about ten thousand photos of Annie, I immediately scrolled through them looking for evidence of Annie’s tail.

And I found it. It’s just not expressive like Lucy’s. There’s no plumage. There’s no lift. It was just kind of there, usually down or out.

A photo collage of seven photos of the same golden retriever running in the woods

Annie’s Down or Out Tail

I did manage to find one photo with some lift to it.

It’s funny how you may never notice something until the opposite presents itself to you.

Once back in Colorado, I felt utterly exhausted and in need of a break from my spring break. Unfortunately, I didn’t get one as the semester geared right back up and we’re in the home stretch until finals.

It’s a small price to pay for so much Norfolk love.

Happy Spring, everyone!

Lucy with a very different type of tail 🙂

Sign Me Up!

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When I think of the parts of my life I can control (unlike the horrific timeline of current events we’re living through), I’m pretty satisfied. I have routines and activities that bring me small moments of joy, and every so often, there are big moments of joy, like traveling somewhere new, visiting family/friends whom I haven’t seen in a while, or any time a puppy joins a family.

A golden retriever puppy with a boot in her mouth

Lucy Honeybee joined my friend’s family last year

If I had to say anything was missing right now, it would be a lack of collective effervescence in my life.

For those of you who don’t know, collective effervescence is a sociological concept coined by Émile Durkheim describing the intense, electric energy and emotional, shared, or spiritual high experienced by individuals when they come together in a group for rituals, performances, or collective actions.

The pandemic stole this away from a lot of people for years, and I’ve written before about the first time I experienced it after the world “opened back up.”

But I don’t experience it very often these days. One reason is that I don’t go to a lot of events that naturally lends itself to collective effervescence, such as sporting events or concerts.

I also live in an area with lots and lots of people, and consequently, lots and lots of events and activities on any given day. These aspects of big town living can also dilute collective effervescence simply because of all the choices and, still being relatively new to the area, I don’t necessarily know the people I’m with, so there are no already established emotional connections.

That’s why this past Friday night was such a treat for me!

With a group of three other people, two of whom are friends from my romancing the tropes book club at the Westminster Library, we attended an Earlybirds Club Dance Party at the Fox Theater in Boulder.

I have been waiting YEARS for an early bird movement to change when events are offered (no late nights for this narcoleptic), and while I’m still waiting for this to catch on, the women at Earlybird Club Dance Party are doing their best to make sure this happens.

The Earybirds Club Dance Party tag line is “A dance party for ladies who have sh*t to do in the morning.” It started at 6pm and ended at 10pm (still a little late for me), but, OMGosh! Friday night was so much fun and far exceeded all my expectations.

Everyone there was happy and carefree. The music was from the 70s to today, the energy felt electric, and there were zero expectations that you had to do anything but dance. Although there was a lot of belting out of lyrics by all of us.

About halfway through, the local Early Bird Club “ambassador” took the stage. I turned to my group and said, “If this turns out to be a cult, sign me up!”

The ambassador spoke about the struggles of women right now, and some of the loudest cheers were in response to her statement about how hard it is to make dinner for ourselves every single night for the rest of our lives. She then told us that tonight, “All you have to do is dance!”

So we did.

The night was collective effervescence at its very best, and I hope the Early Bird Club comes back to Boulder soon.

If you’re interested, you can check out shows on their website here: https://early-birds.club/

But be forewarned, most shows are already sold out!

Now, could we also please offer concerts at 2 pm?

The Joy of Animal in Party Hats

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When I think of something small that brings me joy, it’s animals in party hats.

Or any hat, really.

I have celebrated holidays this way and wished friends happy birthday this way.

For my first birthday with Heath, I asked for the dogs, cats, and goats we were taking care of to wear party hats. Heath delivered in the most unexpected and delightful way possible. He bought party hats for the dogs and photoshopped party hats onto the other animals, as well as some of my friends who sent in photos for the occasion. In the photo below, you can see one of the goats in the upper left corner, and that’s my niece in a turkey hat taped to the chair.

I even relegated a dog to prison this way at a friend’s request.

I look at these creations with a source of pride and hilarity that keeps me motivated like nothing else to keep producing them just for fun.

For years, animals in party hats have brought me joy.

So, as you can imagine, when I was given the chance at a writing conference last weekend to ask author and illustrator Sophie Blackall about her book If We Were Dogs, I asked the most pressing question on my mind – other than dogs, what other animals should wear party hats?

Her answer was perfect – all of them!

I bought the book, had her sign it, and we laughed at how much we love animals in party hats.

At the end of the conference, Sophie was the closing keynote speaker. She gave us a wonderful and inspiring lecture on the lessons she had learned along the way to being a Caldecott Medal illustrator and NY-Times best-selling author.

When she was finished speaking, Sophie held up five signed prints of the If We Were Dogs book cover.

She announced that she would give them to whoever wanted one, with the caveat that the person had to give it to someone else.

My hand, which had been ready to shoot into the air, stayed at my side. I didn’t know who would love that print more than me. So I didn’t ask for one.

Sophie came into the crowd to hand out the prints. She immediately headed to our table and handed the first one to my friend sitting beside me.

Lucky, I thought. Who is Tiffany going to give this to?

The second Sophie put the print in Tiffany’s hand, she immediately gave it to me.

You’d think I could have seen that coming. I did not. So much so that the surprise and appreciation I felt in that moment manifested as tears, surrounded by a table of children’s book authors and illustrators. It wasn’t only that Tiffany knew that I would love to have the print. It was also the speed at which she acted. She totally gets me, and if that’s not friendship, I don’t know what is.

As the world continues to devolve into cruelty and destruction, these small moments of joy are what help me get through the day. How lucky I am to know that the little things matter.

And luckier still that those little things include animals in hats.

Fun With Family and Friends

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This year, as part of my 25 in 25 list, I made a goal to visit Connecticut, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Nebraska, and Oklahoma. Although it’s an ambitious goal, given that I can’t take long trips during the academic year, I felt confident that I could achieve it.

Why these particular states? Well, PA and TN are where my family and Heath’s family live. CT and NC are where friends who are like family live. Nebraska and Oklahoma are the two remaining continental US states I have yet to visit.

We’re almost halfway through 2025, and I am crushing this goal! I spent Spring Break in Connecticut meeting Lucy Honey Bee and reminding Annie I’m her #1 fan.

A golden retriever puppy on the left and an adult golden retriever on the right share a stick while out in the woods.

Lucy Honey Bee (left) and Annie (right).

An adult golden retriever walks down a hill in the Norfolk, CT, woods.

Despite Lucy being ridiculously cute, I made sure Annie and I went on special “No Puppies Allowed” walks.

Heath and I took a weekend jaunt to Scott’s Bluff, NE, and found ourselves marveling over the rugged beauty and delicious food.

Badlands rock formations against a blue sky

Scotts Bluff National Monument

At the end of May, I headed to PA for a somewhat impromptu visit to my family. When I looked at my calendar and considered my summer teaching schedule from July 8-August 8 and how quickly the fall semester would start after that, I realized I might not get the opportunity to visit later in the summer.

Highlights from that visit include going to the Hershey Gardens with my mom and niece, playing games, birdwatching at Wildwood Lake, visiting with my mentors from college, eating the below birthday cake cinnamon roll at the Hershey Pantry, and then enjoying the experience so much, that we returned to the Hershey Pantry with even more people for their afternoon tea.

And last weekend I was in NC for a teaching conference at Duke University in Durham, NC. With the conference schedule, I was able to squeeze in visits with many of my friends and it was so much fun to see them again.

I also received a delightful perspective shift. On Saturday morning, when I walked around Duke’s campus on my way to the conference center, it was nearly empty. I saw its beauty in a way that I had never appreciated before, having walked across the campus at least a dozen or so times during grad school and my sabbatical.

I don’t know if I would have prioritized any of these trips if I hadn’t set such an ambitious travel goal. These visits may have been more of a back-burner idea, and without conscious effort, it’s likely they would have stayed simmering as desires rather than concrete plans. Which goes to show that setting intentions can make a difference!

Up next on the list is Oklahoma. Heath and I have a trip planned for August to see a meteor shower at one of their state parks. I’m sure August will be here before we know it.

In the meantime, stay cool during these hot summer days, and if you have a travel goal this summer, I hope you get there!

The End of an Era: Goodbye Dodger Dog

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I’ve been a little light on posting this summer, and it’s not because I haven’t had anything to write about. On the contrary, I’ve had so many things to write about, some life-changing, that overwhelm has been a near-constant companion since May.

In the past three months, CU Boulder hired me as a full-time teaching faculty member in the psychology and neuroscience department (I start August 19), I said goodbye to our life as housesitters, Heath and I moved into a single-family home in Lafayette, CO, we finalized our move from Norfolk (ie., last week we packed up in a U-haul our remaining stuff stored in our friends’ basement and then drove from Norfolk to Lafayette by way of Harrisburg, PA, and Murfreesboro, TN, and my beloved buddy, Dodger, died in my arms.

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The first photo I ever took of Dodger and the last photo I ever took of Dodger.

I’ll write about all these events soon, but today I honor Dodger, a dog unlike any other with his sassy attitude, envelope ears, and butterscotch heart.

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Barbour Woods, 2018

Dodger and his mama Cecily were a huge part of my life in Norfolk. I wrote about them on this blog multiple times (see here, here and here for examples). The world lost Cecily in June 2022, and a little over two years later, Dodger joined her. Dodger’s adoptive parents knew his end was coming. Throughout the spring, they had kept me updated on his declining health. I asked them to tell Dodger he didn’t have to wait for me to come back to Norfolk this summer and that if he needed to go, he should go. We knew we loved each other.

The End of an Era: Goodbye Dodger Dog 23

Cecily’s Porch, July 2022

He held on. My flight to Norfolk landed at Bradley-International Airport on Thursday, July 11^th. After a good friend picked me up and dropped me off at Annie and her human’s house, and a quick hello and hugs to them, I headed over to see Dodger.

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Barbour Woods, February 2018

Although it was heartbreaking to see such a commanding and agile dog as Dodger hobbling around, his face retained every inch of his Dodgerness. I understood exactly what his adoptive parents meant by his “mixed signals” when having to make the hardest decision in Dodger’s life.

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Barbour Woods, October 2020

I spent that night with him and then went over again to spend hours with him on Friday night. I was told the plan had been set. A vet would come to the house on Monday.

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Barbour Woods, June 2020

But Dodger never did anything according to what we planned, and Friday night, he took a turn for the worse. The vet was able to fit him in on Saturday, and his adoptive parents generously and graciously offered me to go with them.

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Eve, Cecily, and Dodger in Cecily’s Living Room, February 2019

The moment I walked in and saw him on Saturday afternoon, I knew they were making the right decision. It was time. Well, it was time for Dodger. There would never be enough time for me to get in all the walks, belly rubs, and reminisces of our time together.

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Dodger with mini-Dodger, a stuffed dog made by Eve Thew, August 2019

We spent our final hours together, and then suddenly, we were in the car going to the vet. Along the way, Dodger became a little agitated. The idea occurred to me that I had many videos of Cecily in my cloud storage, so I quickly found one of the longer videos (I knew where to look) and played the video on a loop. Dodger immediately settled down at the sound of Cecily’s voice.

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Halloween, 2019 (I carved the pumpkin to look like Dodger)

Cecily’s name became a refrain we all echoed at some point during Dodger’s final hour – just a little bit longer, and you’ll be with Cecily again.

The End of an Era: Goodbye Dodger Dog 30

Christmas, 2020

Dodger’s death hits particularly hard because I truly feel it’s the end of an era. I met Cecily and Dodger early during our time in Norfolk and I spent countless hours over there every week. For over two years, Heath worked as one of Cecily’s caregivers. So many times, I tagged along on their outings. We always had such a splendid time.

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Cecily, Heath, and Dodger, Harney & Sons, Millerton, NY, October 2019

There were so many small, joyful moments with Cecily and Dodger – dinners, birthdays, Super Bowl parties, Christmases, and the most spectacular sunsets viewed off of Cecily’s side porch. She had, arguably, the best sunset view in Norfolk.

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July 2019, Cecily’s Porch

Cecily’s family sold her house last year so I’ll never again be able to watch one of those porch sunsets. When I drove by her house the day after Dodger died, I felt empty with loss. I no longer have any direct connection to Cecily, just my memories. Some I’ll never forget, like how I was driving Dodger home from the vet in Cecily’s car when I finally saw my first black bear in Norfolk after three years, and some are gone forever, thanks to my journal being stolen last year.

The End of an Era: Goodbye Dodger Dog 33

On the way back from Sand Road Vet, May 2020; Dodger could not care less we saw a bear

Thankfully, I am good friends with Dodger’s adoptive parents so that connection remains alive and well. We marveled over the idea that when we met eight years ago, we never could have guessed that someday we’d be sharing profound grief together over someone else’s dog in a veterinary exam room. We all had Dodger in our arms for those last few minutes.

Goodbye, my sweet and sassy Dodge Podge. It was a great honor to know and love you.

Dog Days of Norfolk

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I’ve now returned to Boulder after 2.5 weeks of taking care of my buddy Fergus back in Norfolk, Connecticut.

Such a distinguished gentlepup.

There’s a lot I could say about the trip, but for right now, I’m not yet ready to share because I’m just starting to process some “life just sucks sometimes” events that have evolved these past few days.

In the meantime, I am overwhelmed with the amount of love and friendship I developed in Norfolk since September 2016. The support these past few days has been comforting and uplifting. From dogs, yes, but also the people. I got to visit with so many friends and friends who are like family. I love you all so, so much.

Some highlights from the week include:

a tea party worthy of Downton Abbey with some friends who are the epitome of aging well (can you guess who in the group is 100?)

walking with Dodger, Fergus, Dodger’s other dog walker, and his adopted mom in the Barbour Woods,

many walks with Annie in the woods, which also means I got to see Annie’s mom a lot (she is also very near and dear to my heart),

a walk up Haystack mountain with two friends, but because I’ve been trying to distance myself from my phone, I didn’t take any pictures,

and discovering that the groomers missed one hair on Fergus’s head.

I hope by the time I post again I’ll have some happy updates to share. If not, well … I’m sure I’ll have some more dog photos.

In Celebration of My Friends!

Farm Fun and Writing!

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I recently found myself in the company of my friend, two goats, and a pig.

It’s a good place to be because I enjoy my friend’s company, Frankie and Sheldon are hilarious and adorable, and Abe R. Ham adds a certain level of drama to every situation.

I don’t know if all pigs are dramatic or just Hammy. Regardless, he been an excellent muse as I put the finishing touches on another middle grade manuscript that I will soon be querying. Yes, it involves a pig but that’s all I’m going to say about the story.

This manuscript makes ten total (not counting picture books), or over half a million words written in my quest to be a traditionally published author. I remember when I was a child with a notebook in my bedroom and I couldn’t get past the title and the name of the main character. How do writers do this? I wondered.

As I was writing the preceding paragraph, I couldn’t remember if it was nine or ten books that I’ve written and I had to make a list to count. So now I’m laughing because look at how far I’ve come!

Me!

Kelly!

I have written ten whole books in the last six years. For the record, only four of these manuscripts are high enough quality at the moment that I could actually send them out to agents to consider.

But, still. I had a dream to be a writer and here I am six years later and that’s exactly what I’m doing. When I decided I wanted to be a writer I had ZERO books. Now I have TEN. It really is something to wake up one day and realize that you are smack dab in the middle of your dream.

I have no intention of stopping. I write because I love it! I love creating new worlds in which anything is possible. Talking dogs — yes! Dramatic pigs — of course! Magic? You bet. Happily ever after? All. Day. Long.

Now I just wait for luck and circumstance to be in my favor. In the meantime, I keep writing.

I also keep getting out there and living life to the best of my ability. Yes, I’m looking at both of you, pandemic and narcolepsy.

Because how can you look at this photogenic pig and not think he doesn’t have a story to tell?

Thanksgiving 2021

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I’m glad it’s Thanksgiving this week, because it gives me a ready-made topic to write about: Top 10 Things I’m Grateful for This Year.

My husband, Heath. This year has been another challenging one, particularly with sleep issues. Heath is a constant source of unconditional love and support. The last time I struggled this much with my sleep, I was single. I eventually improved, so I know I have it in me to stay the course with my health as a single person. But I’m incredibly grateful I don’t have to.
DOGS! Speaking of unconditional love and support, dogs are also up there at the top of my list. Dogs bring me such joy! I can’t imagine my life without them. This point leads me to …
The people who let me love their dogs. This will be my first full year since 2013 that I did not live with one or more dogs. It’s been an adjustment to say the least, and I still find myself tearing up every now and again when I think of my furry friends I’ve lost along the way. So an extra special thank you to those people who ask me to take care of their dogs and love them like they’re my own.
My mom. She is one of the most generous people I know. The only way my mom could get even better is if she got a dog.
My best friend, Arlene. I met Arlene while on sabbatical in Chapel Hill, NC, in 2014. Arlene is almost 40 years older than me, and that doesn’t matter in the slightest. We understand each other, and every Thursday I call her. Sometimes we don’t chat, and I just leave a message. But we always know to expect a phone call on Thursdays at 11:30am.
My BFF Michelle. Michelle and I have been friends for maybe 17 years now. We can’t really nail down the date of when we went from being grad school acquaintances to good friends. The pandemic, however, changed everything. We experienced a Frien-essance (the friend version of a Renaissance) this year through Zoom and that’s one of my silver linings of the pandemic. Also shoutout to Beth, who often joins us on our Zooms. I’m grateful my friendship with her has gotten deeper this year, too.
My TPEP friends. These are the friends I made when working for the Tobacco, Prevention, and Evaluation Program way back in the mid 00s when I worked in the Department of Family Medicine, UNC School of Medicine as a research assistant. I doubt I will ever have such a dynamic and fun group of friends at work. We stay in touch a few times a year and I love them all SO MUCH!
My imagination and creativity. These are my two greatest natural gifts. Because of my imagination and creativity, I am never at a loss when writing a story. In fact, I often have too many stories to write, and then have to choose which ones to write and which ones to let go. As a first world problem, I’ll take it!
My mentors. There are some people in this world, such as Dr. Al Forsyth and his wife Peggy, and Dr. Adam O. Goldstein, who believe in me no matter. They’ve each contributed their own way to the person I am today.
My improving sleep. Friends, I am cautiously optimistic in telling you that my narcolepsy medicine is working. I am no longer waking up every morning experiencing post-traumatic stress from my dreams. I no longer need a nap at 8:30am and again at 4:00pm. I am not heading straight to the couch after I wake up. I feel so different these mornings as of late, that sometimes I don’t even know what to do with myself.

As I was writing this list, I realized that Top 10 is too limiting. I immediately wanted to make it a Top 20, then Top 50. For brevity’s sake, I’ll stop here. Kinda. Because now I’m going to give a few honorable mentions: My niece, who is brilliant and creative, my writing group, who is AWESOME, the Norfolk Library, who provides AMAZING health insurance even though I only work part-time, my productivity club, where we provide unconditional support to each other, Ruth, who reads my blog regularly and is one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet, Dottie, who gives the best hugs in Norfolk, and Jeannine and Jeff, who continue to make me laugh.

There are so many more people and things I could list. I’m really going to stop now. At least for now.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

How to Celebrate Memorial Day in 2020? Wear a Mask

Kelly Kandra Hughes, PhD

Living An Intentional Life

Tag Archives: Friends

A Tale of Tails

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Sign Me Up!

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The Joy of Animal in Party Hats

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Fun With Family and Friends

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The End of an Era: Goodbye Dodger Dog

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Dog Days of Norfolk

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In Celebration of My Friends!

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Farm Fun and Writing!

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Thanksgiving 2021

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How to Celebrate Memorial Day in 2020? Wear a Mask

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