Tag Archives: Socialization

Memoir Monday, November 14th, 2016

1 Reply

no-one-is-an-island-an-update-and-final-report-card

At the beginning of September, I wrote about a socialization plan I devised for my time in Connecticut and a little over a month ago I evaluated my progress at the halfway mark. Our initial stint in Connecticut has now ended and it’s time for my final grades – drumroll, please!

1)      Spend three days a week writing at the library to get me out of the house

Midterm Grade: F

Final Grade: F

Rationale: In the 63 days that my husband and I lived in Connecticut, not once did I spend time at the library writing.  So, not just a fail, an epic fail (I’m giving myself a ZERO).

Reflection:  I accept this failure because I learned something valuable – I prefer writing at home.  As much as I like the idea of writing at a library or a coffee shop, going to these places require several additional steps in the process, like showering/getting dressed and then walking (driving) somewhere.  For a procrastinator like myself, these steps fuel my fire of distraction and before I know it, I’ve wasted a ton of time with nothing to show for it.  Thus, getting out of my house from here on out will need to come through other means.

2)      Volunteer at the library (that is, if they’ll have me for just two months)

Midterm Grade: F

Final Grade: C

Rationale: I ended up spending my service time elsewhere (see point #3), but my husband and I gave a financial donation to the library before we left.

Reflection: Even though I didn’t write anything at the library, my husband and I spent a lot of time utilizing their wonderful (and free!) resources.  We both read some great books, watched some great (in my husband’s opinion; meh in my opinion) movies, and used their printers for personal use.  Since we both believe that 10% of our income should go to charity, it seemed like the Norfolk Library deserved a good chunk of what we earned while living there.  Money is not the same thing as service, so that’s why I went with a “C.”

3)      Seek other short-term volunteer opportunities as they present themselves

Midterm Grade: A-

Final Grade: A

Rationale:  In addition to continuing as a social media team member for the Young Adult Review Network, I managed to find some short-term volunteer opportunities as well, including contributing some of my writing to the Norfolk Church of Christ Congregational’s Christmas pageant, donating food to the church’s food pantry, and entertaining children at the Colebrook Community Center’s Halloween party.

Reflection: These small service opportunities are a great way to get out of the house, meet people, and feel like I’m actively contributing to society.  I just need to keep my eyes open for them.

4)      Attend a weekly writers’ group

Midterm Grade: A+

Final Grade: A+

Rationale:  I attended a creative writers’ group every Wednesday and I attended a children’s writers’ group every time they had a meeting (which ended up being three times).

Reflection: I cannot recommend writing groups enough!  In addition to being a wonderful opportunity to socialize with writers and get out of the house (which is important to me; see point 1), my stories have improved based on the feedback from the groups.  There’s also a lot of utility in seeing and hearing people’s response to your work as you read it out loud.  I found both groups using Google searches, but I’ve also used meetup.com.  It is my sincerest hope that wherever my husband and I end up wandering to, we will always have a writing group to attend (yes, sometimes he comes with me).

5)      Work at short-term, limited employment jobs where I can see my contributions to society

Midterm Grade: B

Final Grade: B

Rationale: It’s official – I love making sandwiches!  I think it’s because people truly appreciate a well-made sandwich and appreciation is something I did not experience on a regular basis as a teacher of statistics or research methods.  I spent hours editing and evaluating students’ work and most of the time I felt like my efforts were wasted.  That is hardly ever the case with working a café!

On the downside, though, I’m still having difficulty managing my time.  I started working on one of my novels again (YAY!) but then my exercise fell by the way side (BOO!).  Then, there’s Halloween, which certainly did not help my sweet tooth, especially because the library had a huge candy supply, and finally we discovered Dee’s One Smart Cookie Allergen-free Bakery, which may be allergen free, but not sugar, calorie, or fat free.

Reflection: Blargle!  I don’t like being dissatisfied with how I treat my body.  This is the one body I get for life, so I need to do better at prioritizing it while I’m working.  I have a plan for that, though, which I’m going to share next week when I lay out my goals for the remaining two months of the year (and if you have any suggestions/recommendations for my November/December goals, feel free to let me know).

6)      Find a spiritual community that encourages self-reflection and growth.

Midterm Grade: C+

Final Grade: C-

Rationale: Although I actively worked on my spirituality and connection to God daily, I didn’t commit fully to any one community.

Reflection: This might have to be something I accept as my husband and I continue wandering around.  When you’re only going to be in one place for a set, limited time, it can be hard to motivate yourself to make commitments of this sort.  I enjoy connecting with others, especially those who center their lives on love, compassion, generosity, and service.  It may be that I modify this goal to reflect a more global community than local one.

Overall Grade: C

Reflection: WOOHOO – I passed!  If it wasn’t for that ZERO, I might even have been above average.  Oh, well.  Gives me something to work towards until the end of the year.

Memoir Monday – October 3rd, 2016

4 Replies

no-one-is-an-island-update

A few weeks ago, I wrote a socialization plan I came up with for my time in Connecticut.  We’re at the halfway point, so here’s an update on where I’m at and where I’m going.

1)      Spend three days a week writing at the library to get me out of the house

Grade: F

Rationale: Although I frequent the library to check out books (ALL THOSE BOOKS ARE FREE FOR ME TO READ AT MY LEISURE!!!!), I have not written a single word while there, nor have I ever headed there with the purpose of doing so.

Reflection:  I’m kind of okay with this fail.  My novel writing has ceased (again), but I seem to have finally gotten into a rhythm with blogging and my short stories keep a comin’.   I also now write about a full-page of stream of consciousness journaling on a daily basis and all of this writing takes place at the kitchen table.  I did 99.9% of my writing in Johnsonville, NY, at a kitchen table, so I seem to be drawn towards writing in big, open spaces with lots of natural sunlight.  I’m also getting out of the house in other ways (see point #5), so I’m not feeling isolated at all.

2)      Volunteer at the library (that is, if they’ll have me for just two months)

Grade: F

Rationale: In addition to not writing at the library, I have not done one lick of volunteer work for them.  I didn’t even ask because as you’ll see in points #3 and #5, other opportunities presented themselves.

Reflection: 

Ever heard the expression “you plan; God laughs?”

Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s what happened here.

3)      Seek other short-term volunteer opportunities as they present themselves

Grade: A-

Rationale:  It’s not short-term, but ya’ll are looking at the newest social media team member for the Young Adult Review Network (YARN)!  YARN is an online literary journal devoted to the young adult genre.  As someone who hopes to someday have YA novels published, this is an excellent opportunity to read some outstanding work in the genre.  Plus, it gets me using twitter, which is necessary in publishing and this is volunteer work I can do anywhere in the world.  So, it fits in perfectly with our wandering lifestyle.

4)      Attend a weekly writers’ group

Grade: A+

Rationale:  Every Wednesday morning, I attend a Creative Writing Group at the Norfolk Church of Christ Congregational UCC.  In addition, twice a month I head to the Simsbury Library to attend a Society for Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators critique group.  What’s fantastic about this group is all the women in it are writing specifically for children and the feedback I’ve gotten has been excellent.   Both writing groups have been incredibly welcoming and I already know I’m going to miss them when we move (much like the other writing groups I’ve been privileged to attend, including the Durham Writers’ Group in NC and the Schenectady NY Public Library Wednesday Afternoon Writing Group – I LOVE AND MISS YA’LL!).

5)      Work at short-term, limited employment jobs where I can see my contributions to society;

Grade: B

Rationale: As I wrote about a few weeks ago, I started work at a café in town. As I’ve never had a service job before, I’m struggling with the in’s and out’s of the job, but I do make up for it with enthusiasm.  I still find great satisfaction in providing lunch for individuals and even simple things like sweeping the floor and doing the dishes feel worthwhile because it’s helping the café owner present our best to the Norfolk community.

I’m also meeting some interesting people.  Just today I met someone who has published two books.  His fiction book is entitled Hypnogogia – A Life of Dreams, and as someone who has had vivid dreams as a symptom of narcolepsy I am intrigued by a story that blends dreams with reality.

He and his wife were two of the loveliest people I’ve met so far and I’m delighted that he asked me to call him with my contact information so he can send me a free copy of the book! 

They also gave me a 30% tip which is AWESOME when you are working at a café lunch counter.

The only downside to this job is that I feel physically exhausted at the end of the work day, so I haven’t been working on my novels when I get home in the afternoons.  I’m still prioritizing losing the post-PA weight gain from my parents’ house with morning cardio and strength training so there goes that writing time.

It also doesn’t help that my husband and I experienced our first and subsequently second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, and tenth tastes of apple cider doughnuts, but if you’re in New England for the fall, shouldn’t you experience such a delectable sweet and crunchy treat?  Good thing I was already exercising, but what it comes down to is exercise is still taking precedence over some of my writing (not all; see point #1).

6)      Find a spiritual community that encourages self-reflection and growth.

Grade: C+

Rationale: To quote U2, “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.” Yet, and I refuse to give up.  One promising community is a health food store up the way in Winsted (about a 15-minute drive) that offers a Restore Your Soul Dancing Yoga Class for the next three weeks.  I’ve never done dancing yoga before, but we’ll see what it’s like.  If anything, what I’ve learned so far in CT is to keep an open mind and try new things.

So there you have it, my mid-CT-term report card.  What do you think?  Have I graded myself too harshly (many of my former students can relate) or do you think I should be more lenient?  And if you enjoyed this post, please subscribe to my blog.  Then I can get an A when I evaluate my blogging endeavors!

 

 

Memoir Monday — September 5th, 2016

4 Replies

No One is an island

              I did something unexpected in my quest to become a writer last week.  I applied for a temporary, seasonal job at a non-profit organization.  This job is not related to my writing, although it does involve others’ writing.  Its purpose is to identify the best-of-the-best underserved high school seniors to match them with four-year colleges and universities through essays these students have written.

              The reason I say this is unexpected is because I don’t actually need a job.   My husband and I prepared financially for when we would both stop working at our steady-income jobs.  We have housesitting jobs lined up to take us through May, 2017, so our monthly expenses are only food, health insurance, and car stuff. 

              In fact, my teaching salary was paid through the summer so it’s not like I’ve even been experiencing what no-income living is like. 

Yet, for the past few weeks I have felt wholly inadequate as to what I’ve been contributing to society. 

 

              One of the things I really struggled with this past summer in New York was finding volunteer opportunities.  Living where we did, which was 40 minutes to anywhere, and having only one car, it was hard to find many service opportunities, especially when I couldn’t give more than two months of a commitment. 

              So since the beginning of May I have essentially focused on writing in my professional life.  I’m pretty pleased with the progress as I have query letters out to agents and I have sent manuscripts to some boutique publishers.  I have an agent critique coming up in October with one of my children’s stories and I’m a month in to blogging, which is a big deal for me as I’ve started two other blogs in my life that woefully never got past the first entry. 

              Of course, I would love to say that I already have an agent or a book contract, but I don’t.  I’ve also been rejected a few times (which I’ll write more about in the future) and I know more rejection is coming my way because that’s simply the nature of life. Although I do hold fast to words I once heard Al Gore speak at COP-20 in Lima, Peru, “After the last no, comes a yes….” 

              But what it all comes down to is lately something seems to be missing living in my writing bubble.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s a very happy place to be and I am certainly not going to leave and never come back.  My current professional goals and life purpose are tied to that bubble and I am confident I am on the right track.

              

What I feel is missing in my life, though, is balance.

Writing is a solitary life.  I had the privilege and opportunity to attend a weekly writing group while we were in New York.  Every Wednesday afternoon my husband and I would drive almost an hour to the Schenectady County Public Library where we made some really great friends and we shared our writing among lovely and talented writers.

              The rest of the “work” week I spent sitting at the kitchen table writing on my tablet.  It was über productive, but I’m just now realizing that it’s not enough.  It reminds me of the depression I experienced a few years ago at work when one of my favorite people in the world left the university I taught at and all of sudden I didn’t have nearly any social interaction.

              I wish I could claim that my own awareness came to this realization, but it took the wise words of an integrative doctor to point this out to me. 

We are social animals and I need socialization. 

 

              Here is the socialization plan I’ve come up with for the next two months when my husband and I will be housesitting in Connecticut:

1)      Spend three days a week writing at the library to get me out of the house;

2)      Volunteer at the library (that is, if they’ll have me for just two months);

3)      Seek other short-term volunteer opportunities as they present themselves;

4)      Attend a weekly writers’ group;

5)      Work at short-term, limited employment jobs where I can see my contributions to society;

6)      Find a spiritual community that encourages self-reflection and growth.

              I’m optimistic it will work, but in the event it doesn’t, at the very least it keeps me aware that I am dissatisfied with one area of my life and I am seeking to improve it.  If anyone has any suggestions for points I may have missed on my socialization plan or areas they think I’ve missed, please share.  I can use all the socialization I can get!