A starry night sky

Seeing Stars!

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Last week Heath and I headed south to Westcliffe, CO, for our second annual reading and stargazing retreat.

An orange and yellow sunset

Photo from the visitwetmountainvalley.com website

The time and place were perfect for stargazing. Westcliffe is a certified dark sky area, the Perseid meteor shower would peak at 2am on the morning of Thursday, August 13th, and a new moon would grace the night sky (meaning zero illumination).

If you’re wondering about the reading/stargazing combo, that 2am viewing time should tell you all you need to know. That is very late for a sleepy person, of which I am. Hence, I am often too tired to do anything of note if I am ever out and about in the wee hours of the morning. Reading is the perfect way to spend a low-key, sleepy day.

For the record, there are few activities for which I will ever stay up late by choice. When my niece and her husband were visiting last Christmas, I was asked what some of those activities were. Here’s what I came up with:

  1. Cuddling baby animals, such as polar bears and panda bears
  2. A midnight showing of a new Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings movie (assuming all the original cast were reprising their roles)
  3. A remake of the Harry Potter movies with the above Lord of the Rings cast playing the key roles
  4. If there was one magical night when all my beloved dogs who have died would show up so I could pet them again
  5. If my niece got married at midnight
  6. Wondrous natural phenomena (so far including, but not limited to lunar eclipses and meteor showers)

The stars were, in fact, wondrous that night!

A starry night sky

Photo by Heath Hughes

A starry night sky

Photo by Heath Hughes

The meteor shower was … okay! Clouds rolled in, so we were lucky to see anything. We saw about 15-20 meteors in about 90 minutes. This is way more than we saw last year (one) because when I planned our first annual reading and stargazing retreat at Black Mesa State Park in Oklahoma, I didn’t know that moon phase mattered. All the stars we could see last year washed out under a very bright full moon after only 15 minutes.

Nevertheless, those were some awesome 15 minutes, and Heath and I became hooked on stargazing.

We chose Westcliffe this year because it was recommended by a woman I met at the Recycle Colorado Summit in June (where I was the keynote speaker!). Heath and I sat next to her at the Recycle Colorado Summit awards dinner and got along incredibly well. Debbie used to be on the Westcliffe Tourism Board, and she’s the one who came up with the Westcliffe slogan, “Come for the Mountains! Stay for the Stars!”

So not only did we get to see stars, but we also got to know Debbie and her husband better. They invited us to their house for dinner and games. Best of all, their cats, Vera Lynn and Waldo, personally gave Heath and me their stamp of approval, which apparently doesn’t happen for everyone.

A gray striped cat laying on a wood floor

Vera Lynn

It was a perfect end to my summer break: spectacular stars, expansive mountains, new friends, excellent books (I started and finished Beth Is Dead by Katie Bernet, a murder mystery inspired by Little Women, that I couldn’t put down), and animal approval. The semester starts on Thursday, so we’ll see what I can manage in the coming months.

Until next time!

A golden retriever wearing a blue party hat splashes into a pool with the words happy birthday in gold balloon shapes. There are also gold and blue balloons in the background.

Happy Birthday to Me 2026 Edition

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Happy Birthday to me!

When I close my eyes, I certainly don’t feel 49. I still feel the same as when I was 15, 25, 35, and 45.

And when I open my eyes, well … There are some signs I’m getting older.

I won’t dwell on them for too long because: 1) I have recently upped my skincare regimen; and 2) that’s all I’m interested in doing because when I see people who are, shall we say, being more aggressive against aging, I’m not personally convinced that’s the better way.

I spent a delightful day yesterday doing some of my favorite things. I started with reading and writing and then attended my cold plunge group’s weekly Saturday meetup. After that I volunteered to be a pretend wedding guest for a dog named Hoover, who is training to be a ring bearer for his humans’ wedding next week.

A photo collage of a black dog wearing a blue tuxedo coat

Then I picked up Heath, who works on Saturdays, and we drove around on a mini-adventure, and ended up finding a specialty gourmet grocery store near our house where I found the best birthday card imaginable for my niece and I now can’t wait to send it to her in November.

We then ended the day watching two episodes of Frasier. While I watched Frasier back when it was on the air on NBC in the 90s and 00s, Heath has never watched it. It’s standing the rest of time (unlike many other shows/movies we’ve rewatched) and it remains as hilarious as ever.

I also find myself feeling incredibly nostalgic for the 90s and 00s because that was a time before smart phones and the Internet as we know it and I long for the days of less fractured attention.

Nostalgia aside, it was the perfect birthday of small joys and some quality time with the person I love most in this world.

I’ll continue celebrating for the rest of the month with my usual news and social media fast. This is a gift I give to myself every year, and I rather enjoy it. So, if anything important happens, someone please let me know.

In the meantime, thanks for still sticking around all this time. Here’s hoping I make a splash this year in as many wonderful ways as possible.

A golden retriever wearing a blue party hat splashes into a pool with the words happy birthday in gold balloon shapes. There are also gold and blue balloons in the background.

Photo courtesy of Lucy Honeybee

A golden retriever sits in front of flowers

Frannie Fur-Ever

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My social media fasts have been going well. For the most part, I don’t miss it, and I especially don’t miss wasting time scrolling, especially when I would get caught in loops of politics and injustice.

Lately, however, I’ve been checking social media more often.

A calendar of June going into July where some days have check marks and other days have red X's.
On July 1, I received a text from a good friend:

Frannie Fur-Ever 1
You may recall that Frannie was my #1 Internet dog, whom I fell in love with in 2024, and whom I loved with my whole heart, even though I had never met her.

A man with a microphone kneels next to a golden retriever dog
So when I received a text that Frannie was sick, I immediately opened Instagram to find out what was going on.

The news was not good, and it continued to not be good. But Annika, Annie’s rescuer and real-life angel, kept posting updates and sharing with us right up until the end.

Today Annika shared  an “in loving memory of Frannie.”

A golden retriever dog lays down in the back of hatchback car

Frannie Fur-Ever 2

Frannie Fur-Ever 3 Frannie Fur-Ever 4
.What I think most drew me to Frannie, aside from just how precious and cute she was, is that her story made me feel like there is good in the world.

It is so hard to love this much and this deeply, especially a dog I never even met. Yet I can’t imagine existing in a world where hope does not reach out to you in the most unexpected of places.

That’s what Frannie did for me. And for that I will be fur-ever grateful.

Good-bye, sweet girl. Thank you for these last 2.5 years of joy and inspiration.

A golden retriever sits in front of flowers

A sunrise prairie view with a fence in the foreground and mountains in the background

You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know

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Meet Phoebe!

A small, mult-colored dog is on a walk in a prairie open space

I’ll be taking care of her until Monday. While I don’t normally dog sit anymore – it’s too hard to juggle a full-time job, writing, marriage, narcolepsy, and health – I made an exception for Phoebe.

Phoebe’s human mom is a friend of mine from a monthly book club I love. When her regular dog sitter wasn’t available, I agreed to step in because of the specific circumstances. Besides, as I wrote about recently, I really miss having dogs in my life.

It took Phoebe a while to warm up to me. We had two meet and greets, complete with a walk, before she agreed that I was okay. Before that, there were many nips of my calf muscles and Phoebe felt she had to herd me away from her human. It’s a good thing she’s so small and cute, because otherwise it might not have been so endearing.

Now, though, we are good friends. I know this for sure because Phoebe greets me by showing me her belly every single time.

A small, multi-colored dog with a ball in their mouth shows their belly. A hand is petting the belly.

We really are having a great time!

You Don't Know What You Don't Know 5

One of the best parts about agreeing to take care of Phoebe is that I was introduced to the Rothman Open Space. It’s a prairie trail system with the Rocky Mountains in the backdrop. It’s wide, expansive, and glorious in the early morning.

A sunrise prairie view with a fence in the foreground and mountains in the background

Best of all, there are prairie dogs!

A prairie dog colony in an open space area A prairie dog pokes their head out of a hole in the ground

If you live in Colorado or other areas in the Midwest/West that have prairie dogs, you may think this is no big deal. However, I did not grow up with prairie dogs within walking distance. If we wanted to see prairie dogs, we would have to visit Zoo America in Hershey, PA, which we did often. The prairie dog exhibit was one of my favorites.

So you can imagine my delight that the Rothman Open Space is filled with what must be hundreds of prairie dogs! I love listening to their chirps and squeaks in the morning. And while I do miss my Waneka Lake walks and the abundance of wildlife there, the prairie dogs are a good substitute.

In addition to my sheer joy and enthusiasm for the prairie dogs, it’s fun to get writing inspiration while on these walks. I’m currently revising a middle-grade manuscript, and it turns out that my brain works just as well in the open space as it does around the lake. Thank you brain!

I’m also discovering new sources of inspiration, most notably a golden retriever who watched from behind a sliding glass door when Phoebe and I walked by on the trail. I swear the dog bowed at us. Immediately, my mind whirled with the possibilities of what secrets a golden retriever who bows will be keeping.

So while I did not set out to shake things up a bit by sitting for Phoebe, it’s good to be reminded that you don’t know what you don’t know. I had no idea I had access to such a wonderful place. And now I can’t wait to bring friends and family here the next time we have visitors.

If you’re on the fence about whether or not to do something, let this post be your sign that you should give it a try. You never know what may happen.

Happy Summer!

A prairie dog

My Greatest Achievement of 2026 So Far .... 6

My Greatest Achievement of 2026 So Far ….

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These past two weeks have been momentous for me. Thanks to my mom, I’ve now visited all 50 states.

Yes, that’s right – I visited Alaska!

The words "Love Alaska" are in white block letters on a riverbank with foliage in the background.

It was not on my list of places to visit this year, which includes Connecticut, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Texas, and Washington, but it was next and last on my list of 50 states to visit.

Now, while you may think that the trip to Alaska itself was my greatest achievement thus far in 2026, I’m delighted to report that the trip was only a contributing factor.

We had such a fun time, with 5 days on land and 7 days at sea. We saw so much wildlife – whales, harbor seals, stellar seals, mama and baby caribou, mama and baby grizzlies, mama and baby black bears, one coastal brown bear, ptarmigans all over Denali, eagles all over the coast, snowshoe hare, and moose – and we even got a glimpse of the elusive peak of Denali, which is a mountain so massive that it creates its own weather system and only 30% of visitors ever see it.

A photo collage. From top right: a block of glacier ice, a moose laying down among trees, stellar seals on a green buoy, a juvenile male coastal brown bear, a humpback whale breeching the water, the Hubbard Glacier, and Denali National Park.

Then there was the cruise itself. As someone who works hard against overconsumption both on an individual and societal level, it was hard to witness such excess. However, being on a cruise with my mom, husband, and niece was also a delightful way to spend time with family where we didn’t have to worry about how we were going to get somewhere, what we were going to eat, what we were going to do, and who was going to clean up after us. So there will be some cognitive dissonance to unpack in the coming days, which means I will likely justify the trip to myself as a way to spend time with my family that I only see a handful of times a year in a stress-free way.

While we loved getting off the cruise ship for our excursions, such as whale watching in Icy Strait Point

A humpback whale breeching the water with a snow-capped mountain in the background

Photo courtesy of Macy Sherrill, one of the naturalists guiding our whale watching tour. The whale in the photo is named Heavy Dave.

or taking the White Pass into the Yukon on a historic train,

A historic train riding on tracks on a snowcapped mountain

I took this picture from the outdoor viewing area from the last train car.

we also loved the activities on board the cruise ship, such as watching musical variety shows and playing games, including The Price Is Right.

The leaderboard of a gameshow listing names and ranks

It is in this latter category of entertainment where I accomplished my greatest achievement of 2026 (so far). Friends, you are now reading the words of the Royal Caribbean Ovation of the Seas Twilight Trivia Champion, a feat I won single-handedly.

This is now my second Twilight trivia championship, the first being from the Odd 13 Brewery Trivia Night in Lafayette, CO. However, the Odd 13 championship was a group effort with a few other women from the Romancing the Tropes book club I belong to at the Westminster Library, and this championship was truly just me and my brain.

I won with 16/20 points, and for a few minutes during the questions round, I felt convinced I would not win because some of them were hard, such as what is Bella’s mother’s full name, how many chromosomes does a vampire have, and what song plays during the iconic baseball scene in the Twilight movie. While I could tell you the mother’s first name (Renee; turns out her last name is Dwyer), and that they discussed the chromosome count in Breaking Dawn, I couldn’t even hear the song from the baseball scene in my head enough to formulate a guess.

The other question I got wrong was which Jane Austen book Bella reads in Twilight, and I said Mansfield Park. While it is mentioned in the book, Bella decides not to read that one because the main character, Edmund, is too close to her love interest, Edward.

I will never get these questions wrong again!

Another question I’ll never get wrong again is what address did Chandler tell Janice he was moving to on Friends?

Wait. What? Wasn’t I writing about Twilight?

Yes, I was. But surprise! I’m also the Royal Caribbean Ovation of the Seas Friends Trivia Champion, with a one-question assist from my mom.

The answer to the above address question is 15 Yemen Road, Yemen. My answer had been 1 Yemen Road, Yemen. Dang it! I was so close on that one.

Thankfully, my mom knew the answer to the one question I truly guessed for the answer: What was the brand of lipstick Joey advertised in Japan?

I wrote down konnichiwa, however, my mom knew the answer was ichiban. That correct answer got me to a tie-breaker round with another cruise goer who also scored 19/20.

It all came down to one final question – how many episodes was Gunther in? I guessed 200 and the other competitor guessed 215. The correct answer given was 145, but as I’m fact-checking that number on Google, Wikipedia says 148 and the BBC says 185 and IMDB says 164.

So even though I am thrilled to have spent quality time in all 50 states, and time with my family in Alaska, I am ecstatic to be a twice-crowned trivia champion on Royal Caribbean’s Ovation of the Seas. The fact that it’s Twilight and Friends really does make me feel proud because of how much I loved the books and show.

Will this feat end up being my greatest achievement in all of 2026? Only time will tell! On Tuesday, I’m giving the keynote address at the Recycle Colorado Summit, and my agent is diligently at work on another of my manuscripts that will hopefully go on submission soon.

Let’s see what else the summer has in store for us ….

Three people sitting under the Denali National park sign in Alaska

I had to use magic eraser to remove other people from this photo, which resulted in a bit of editing slop where interior is now misspelled!

Two stacks of books side by side. The right stack is twice as high as the left stack.

Summer of Tsundoku, 2026 edition!

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Is it too early to be planning my summer? Perhaps if I lived seasonally, then yes, it is.

However, I live academically, and the semester officially ended last week. WOHOO!

So I consider May-August my own personal summer.

To be clear, I don’t stop working during May-August; and I am teaching in the second summer session from June 30-July 31. However, I certainly have more free time during these next few months, even with the summer session.

This summer, I also expect to have more free time because I am now on day 40 of a social media fast and a news diet (where I only read the news delivered to my inbox every Friday in a roundup of the most important stories). It’s amazing how much time opens up when you kill two activities that can accidentally turn into hours wasted.

What am I going to do with all my time? The same thing I did last summer! My friends, welcome to the Summer of Tsundoku, 2026 edition!

Tsundoku is a Japanese word for accumulating books and not reading them. For years, while we were nomads, I hardly ever kept books because they were so heavy to move from place to place. Now that we’ve been in Colorado for nearly two years, my minimalist ways have lapsed a bit when it comes to books.

The cognitive dissonance of being a minimalist while having a stuffed bookcase is quite uncomfortable, and since I am not going to shed my minimalist identity, my only choice is to read more books.

How did I get so many books?

I blame myself, of course, as I am the commander of my own behavior, as well as my desire to be a good literary citizen by supporting authors I know and/or like when they have new books come out. There’s also reading for the sake of my writing, in terms of improving craft and finding comp titles to share with my agent. Oh, and let’s not forget my writing accountability/critique partner is a more prolific reader than I am, and generously shares her books with me. Throw in the free little library by our house (as well as any free little library I come across) and my love of the Lafayette Library, which, in addition to offering a wealth of books to check out at my leisure, also offers a perpetual book sale to raise money to support itself, and it’s a perfect storm for Tsundoku.

As of May 1st, there were 36 books on my Summer of Tsundoku TBR list. You can see most of the books here:

Two stacks of books next to each other; one stack is about two times higher than the other

Missing from this stack are Bad Badger: A Family Story by Maryrose Wood and illustrator Giulia Ghigini, a sequel to a book I adored so much in 2025 that I pre-ordered it weeks ago (publication date was May 5, 2026, and it’s currently on its way!),

An illustrated cover of a children's book, with an upright badger wearing a cardigan, holding two baby sea gulls.

and You’ve Been Pooping All Wrong: How to Make Your Bowel Movements a Joy by Trisha Pasricha, MD, MPH, a book that I am WILDLY EMBARRASSED to tell you about, but a book that is hands-down (or cheeks up*) one of the most entertaining, interesting, and informative non-fiction books I have EVER listened to, to the point that I am willing to overlook my embarrassment and share this book with anyone who wants to listen.

A book cover with blue text on a white background. There are also two side by side rolls of toilet paper and underneath the rolls are a curved line to indicate a smile

Seriously, get yourself a copy, or better yet, get the audio version because it’s narrated by the author, and she did a stellar job. I enjoyed the book so much that I will be buying a copy to keep (and read again), as well as getting one for my niece when I see her next week.

Anyway, as that book was an audiobook on my list, I couldn’t stack it on my crates.

For anyone wondering, yes, I believe 36 is a ridiculously high number, and, yes, I fully expect to fall short of the goal. My current reading pace in 2026 is an average of 6 books a month. Realistically, that would put me at 24 books by September 1. However, I like to aim high because you never know!

Also, as this is Mother’s Day, a special shout-out to my mom, who instilled this love of reading and books in me. I wouldn’t be able to consider 36 books this summer without her commitment to literacy in my life.

Let the Summer of Tsundoku begin!

*Credit for this joke goes to Charlaine Harris in Dead to the World, my favorite of the Sookie Stackhouse books (which I will likely listen to again this summer, but aren’t on my list because I use them as bedtime audio stories to help me fall asleep, and don’t give them my full attention).

A white labrador retriever sitting on the floor

What I’ve Been Missing

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On Friday, it snowed. Not a lot, just enough to cover everything, including the lilacs on campus.

Lilacs covered in ice and snow

This little bit of snow made me realize how much I missed winter this year. There’s a literal missing of winter, as where we live in Colorado only received about 13 inches of snowfall this season, and there’s also the figurative missing of winter in that those weeks I had the flu over the winter holidays hampered my ability to experience any rest and restoration to carry me through this semester.

This reflection made me realize that I’ve also been missing dogs from my life, even though I spent a week with Lucy Honeybee in March, I volunteer every month at the animal shelter, and I pet a few of my furry friends often when I walk around the lake in the morning.

Last week, I couldn’t even remember if I started a Dog’s I’ve Met in 2026 list, which tells you everything you need to know about how pervasive this missingness is in my life.

Upon further investigation, I discovered I did start this list. However, I felt quite appalled that as of last Sunday, it only listed a scant 10 dogs on the list. Compared to 2024, when I met 102 new dogs and 2025, when I met 111 dogs, 10 dogs in the first quarter of the month is just embarrassing.

Thankfully, the universe felt my concerns and promptly responded with an abundance of dogs. In the last 7 days, I met Sunshine, a poodle wearing pajamas at the San Antonio aiport.

Two poodles walking down an airport walkway.

Max, a fancy therapy poodle who visited the CU Psych Club

A standard grey poodle with painted toe nails.

Kringle, a goobery therapy lab, who also visited the CU Psych Club.

The head of a yellow lab, with a red harness around his neck

And Janey, a perfectly white therapy lab who rounded out our CU Psych Club trio.

A white labrador retriever sitting on the floor

I also met Burger King, a pitbull in a puffy pink coat, at Waneka Lake, and Juno and Nala, two golden retrievers at Big Daddy Bagels in Boulder. Sadly, I didn’t snap photos of those dogs because I was so excited to meet them out and about.

Last but not least, there’s another Max, this one at the Humane Society of Boulder Valley, who visited me in the volunteer room and practically jumped into my arms to give me kisses. I suspect Max will get adopted right away; that’s how cute and loving he is.

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All to say, thank you, universe. Please keep sending the dogs my way, and other blessings you would like to bestow.

Cats welcome, too!

Two cats with long fur are sleeping on a grey carpet

A recent visit last week to Basel and Irving!

A Tale of Tails 8

A Tale of Tails

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I had the privilege and delight of spending spring break in Norfolk, CT. As you may remember, Heath and I housesat in Norfolk from 2016 to 2023, and I loved it there. Heath, not so much, and I promised him he would not turn 40 years old and still be living in Norfolk, so we left in May 2023 (approximately 5 days before his 40th birthday).

I visited last year, as well, for spring break to meet Lucy Honeybee, and, of course, because I missed many of my friends and friends who are like family.

A golden retriever puppy runs in the woods with an adult golden retriever dog

Lucy Honeybee, left, and Annie Rose, right

This year, I also missed snow, cold, and winter, as Colorado is in a snow drought and experiencing unseasonably high temperatures. Although most people I saw in Norfolk had absolutely had it and were sick of winter, I was thrilled on my fourth morning there when I woke up to this winter wonderland.

A Tale of Tails 9

As thrilled as I was to be in Norfolk, there were also many pangs of sadness. Since my last visit, two wonderful friends of mine have died (one was 102! And the other was only 51), and, the world also lost Annie, who I maintain may be the greatest Golden Retriever in the history of the world.

Lucy Honeybee has big paws to fill when it comes to Annie, and we try not to make too many comparisons or put too much pressure on her to be like Annie. She is an incredibly smart, sweet, and affectionate dog who is easy to love, and when she’s not so easy to love because of her puppy biting, we put her in “puppy jail” which is to say she gets to lounge in the kitchen until we have deemed her rehabilitated.

The kitchen really is a great place for her to be, as she has access to two oversized dog beds, plenty of toys, and two comfy chairs to choose from, as well as a glass door through which she can gaze longingly at the outside world.

A golden retriever sleeps on a lounge chair

Lucy in puppy jail

Every morning, I took Lucy for a romp in the woods, which is how I often spent my time with Annie. In some ways, they are very similar to each other.

For example, look at their ears!

A side by side comparison of two golden retrievers

Or how they run ….

A Tale of Tails 10

Or their love of big sticks!

A side by side comparison of two golden retrievers with sticks in their mouths

In one big way, they are very different. I noticed it when I scrolled through my photos after the first walk.

A golden retriever running through the snow

Look at Lucy’s tail, I thought. It’s so fluffy.

Wait. Annie had a tail, too.

Why have I never noticed Annie’s tail before?

Having about ten thousand photos of Annie, I immediately scrolled through them looking for evidence of Annie’s tail.

And I found it. It’s just not expressive like Lucy’s. There’s no plumage. There’s no lift. It was just kind of there, usually down or out.

A photo collage of seven photos of the same golden retriever running in the woods

Annie’s Down or Out Tail

I did manage to find one photo with some lift to it.

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It’s funny how you may never notice something until the opposite presents itself to you.

Once back in Colorado, I felt utterly exhausted and in need of a break from my spring break. Unfortunately, I didn’t get one as the semester geared right back up and we’re in the home stretch until finals.

It’s a small price to pay for so much Norfolk love.

Happy Spring, everyone!

A golden retriever dressed as a bunny

Lucy with a very different type of tail 🙂

Another Reason to Love Stories! 12

Another Reason to Love Stories!

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I recently had a teaching experience that surpassed many others in my life. On February 25th, I presented at the CU Psychology Club on “Why Is Heated Rivalry Hot!” I described the presentation as a look at the intersection between psychology, neuroscience, and storytelling through Nassim Nicholas Taleb’s Black Swan framework.

Another Reason to Love Stories! 13
Now, I am by no means an expert on gay hockey romance. I do, however, have strong credentials for discussing what makes a good story, having studied writing and storytelling for the past 11 years. I’ve also been teaching college-level psychology since I started graduate school in 1999 and became a full-time instructor in 2007, so I know something about how the mind works.

I also had the enthusiasm and support of the psych club behind the presentation. In January, when they asked me to present, they suggested a few ideas. The psych club president then asked me what I wanted to talk about. I jokingly answered that I would like to talk for 45 minutes about Heated Rivalry, having just finished the show and reading book 2 in the series over winter break.

I was mostly kidding. The response from the psych club was so gleeful, we decided, why not?

I have given many lectures in my life. As a teaching assistant and teaching fellow in grad school, I taught psych stats. My first go-around in teaching was predominantly stats, research methods, and a capstone course where students complete a senior thesis, with an occasional general psychology or upper-level course taught every so often.

Here at CU, I’ve been thrilled to shift to general psychology and upper-level lab/methods courses in positive psychology and conservation psychology. And I enjoy it so much!

But I have never had the chance to give a lecture that combined what I love best about stories with some really cool research on psychology.

I was so excited!

In the weeks leading up to the presentation, I knew that there was a lot of positive chatter about it, and on the day of the presentation, we had a good showing. What I was not expecting was how attentive the students would be.

Laptops, iPads, and smartphones weren’t the norm in the classroom when I left teaching in 2016. Nearly every student uses them now. On any given day when I lecture, I compete against billions upon billions of distractions all at the touch of a student’s finger.

So imagine my delight when the entire classroom gave me their undivided attention for a solid 50 minutes. I didn’t see one student on a device, and at one point, everyone was so excited after I asked a question that it took a few tries to get them to quiet down.

I worry a lot for this generation and the damage that social media has inflicted upon them, not to mention how their attention has been stolen for the sake of monetization and capitalism.

Why Is Heated Rivalry Hot showed me that it is possible to be focused in our chaotic, oversaturated, and overstimulated world.

Just one more reason I love stories!

For anyone local, I’ll be giving the presentation at the Westminster Library on Sunday, March 29, at 2:00 pm. You can register here: https://westminsterco.librarycalendar.com/event/why-we-are-hot-for-heated-rivalry

Another Reason to Love Stories! 14

A heterosexual couple are shown on the left at their wedding and on the right is a photo of them 10 years later at the Capulin Volcano in New Mexico.

Ten!

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Ten years ago, on January 20, 2016, I sat down next to a handsome stranger at the bar at Lou Malnatti’s Pizza on Jefferson Ave in Naperville, IL, instead of sitting with anyone in the writers’ group I had just met. Twenty-two days later, on February 12, 2016, we eloped at the courthouse in Nashville, where this handsome stranger lived. It’s now been 10 years, so for all those who bet against us, it’s time to pay up!

A white man and a white woman stand on a rooftop with the city of Nashville behind them.

Last year, when I was telling some students this story after relationship expert and researcher Ty Tashiro presented in one of my upper-level psychology classes, a student asked me how I had known my future husband would be a good man. There were many things that night when I first met Heath that I was attracted to, but what I told the student was that it came down to three things: 1) He teared up when talking about his dog, Lana, who was had died from cancer a few years prior; 2) He had a curiosity for knowledge and read more books than anyone else I had ever met; 3) He didn’t enjoy his job but he was giving it 110% anyway.

Ten years later, Heath has shown me time and time again that I wasn’t wrong. Of course, there’s so much more to him than those three characteristics! So, without further ado, here’s my updated list of 10 specific things that I love about Heath:

  1. When we walk around Waneka Lake together, he always heads to the Free Little Library to see what treasures he’ll find.
  2. As a surprise for 2026, he made me a day-by-day calendar that features snapshots from our life together.A photo collage; in the upper right corner is a landscape photo of golden sand, blue sky and clouds; in the lower right is a man with glasses, blond hair, and a beard; bottom left is a heterosexual couple with a small white dog between them; upper right is a blond main with glasses hiding the lower half of his face with his coat.
  3. He believes in my writing so much that sometimes he calls me Stephanie King, and he also insists that when my books do get published, I have to get special edition embellished versions made just for him.
  4. He wants to befriend a murder of crows, and he’s already picked out names for some of them, including Carl, Steve, and Hippocrates.
  5. He bought us a bird bath for our backyard to make it more hospitable for wildlife.Ten! 15
  6. He sat at the table the other day, watched some squirrels for about 10 minutes, and then declared, “Squirrels are hilarious.”
  7. When I gave him the “Guess the Book Title” holiday game from my Romancing the Tropes book club holiday party, not only did he play the game once, but when he realized these were actual published books, he asked to play again so he could put more effort into it.*A display of 20 romance booksTen! 16
  8. When I went down with the flu in December, the day before my niece arrived for the holidays, Heath took the day that she arrived off from work, picked her up at the airport, and then spent the entire day with her in Boulder so I wouldn’t have to worry about them.
  9. Even though I have not yet kept my promise of watching one violent movie a month with him (provided it’s during the afternoon and not evening), he doesn’t give me too hard a time about it.
  10. This is an oldie, but goodie and has been on my list before: 10 years in, and no matter how many times I pick up a banana, say hello, and then hand it to Heath, he says hello and pretends to have a conversation with someone.

Happy Anniversary, Heath! I’m so glad we found each other.

A white heterosexual couple are smiling with their heads together

February 7. 2016

*If anyone would like the answer key to this game, please let me know. Also, shout out to Vanessa in my book club who created it!