I opted to put off writing this blog post yesterday because I was immersed in the book The Sun Is Also a Star, a young adult book written by Nicola Yoon.
That’s the official reason. The unofficial reason is I’m still plagued by lack of quality sleep and it’s now taking over many facets of my life, including motivation to do anything other than lay around and pet the adorable dogs I’m taking care of.
It’s a good thing they’re so cute because they make me smile even when I feel so exhausted.
Officially, though, I found this book to be an incredible and compelling read. It’s the sort of book that makes you wonder just how the author managed to weave her magic of words, imagination, creativity, and plot together to come up with the story she did. It doesn’t surprise me the book was a National Book Award Finalist for Young People’s Literature.
One of the down sides of reading a book of this nature is that I can’t help but make comparisons to my own writing. What results when I do that is an odd mix of irrational jealousy of how the author approached and wrote the story, demoralization that I could never write anything like it, and then optimism that there are thousands of books being published each year and it’s good that my stories are (and will be) different.
It’s a lot to feel over the course of one day, especially when sleep continues to elude me. Perhaps that is also a contributing factor. But now that it’s been over 12 hours since I finished The Sun Is Also a Star, the truth is, and I credit my years of therapy and spiritual questing for helping me reach this point, is that I can easily let go of my irrational jealousy. There is no reason on this Earth (or the heavens, for that matter), that I should be jealous of someone else’s success; if anything, I should be ecstatic that such a beautiful story is now being read by thousands of teenagers and perhaps encouraging them to think about their own places in this world.
And I do feel inspired with my own story ideas and characters from reading such a rich and engaging story. One of the greatest compliments I can give to Ms. Yoon about this book is that after reading it, I want to further my learning of writing and keep practicing its craft so that I can write a story that engages readers as much as she has.
If only I could get that inspiration out of my head and onto the page with the same enthusiasm that I had when reading The Sun Is Also a Star. In my exhausted state, writing, like most everything else, including doing the dishes, washing clothes, going anywhere, etc., seems like an insurmountable feat. Yet, I keep plugging along. Not with enthusiasm, and sometimes I feel rather belligerent about everything.
Having narcolepsy, this state of exhaustion may never change. But my books and my stories are not going to write themselves. So here you go. A small piece of writing for a one-day late Memoir Monday post that makes me believe I’m accomplishing something. Thank you for reading and for your support.