Tag Archives: Meditation

Thinking About Death in the New Year, 2023 edition 1

Thinking About Death in the New Year, 2023 edition

I think about death often. I’m sure many people do.

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Sometimes the thoughts are with fear of the unknown. Having been raised Catholic, I’ve experienced more than enough trauma at literal interpretations of hell, and if I could change one thing about this world it would probably be not to scare children with eternal damnation. They have enough to worry about these days with gun violence, pandemic lives, climate destabilization, racism, and a dysfunctional government that includes politicians who make it clear that some of them (ie, BIPOC, queer, disabled) are worth less than others.

Occasionally I think about death with wonder. That’s usually when I’m in a good place spiritually. Those days are few and far between lately, and I suspect it’s from chronic stress due to poor sleep, capitalism that requires people to work to have quality health insurance, and lack of affordable housing in Connecticut.

Since my dad died in 2020, some thoughts of death are often linked with incredulity. He was literally alive one minute and dead the next. That’s it? I think. His life is now over?

Mostly I think about death with the fear of missing out, especially because it’s been seven years since Heath and I met, and I want as many years as possible to be with him.

Thinking About Death in the New Year, 2023 edition 3
My annual death meditation is different from all this kind of thinking. Its purpose is to reflect on how I spent my past year and to determine what I want to prioritize in 2023.

In 2022 I decided colorful creativity would be my theme. I would create art that was not the written word, which is usually how I express myself. I wanted to draw and paint with no purpose other than to have fun!

While I got off to a good start, my year did not go as planned.

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Thanks to the pandemic and us being housesitters, we moved 8 times in 2022. From February – May, my art supplies were tucked away in a storage closet growing dusty.

Even when I had access, I didn’t have the motivation. I’ve accumulated more in these past six and a half years than I ever thought possible. The days of hoping I could get all my possessions down to one backpack is no longer realistic. With the increase of my own stuff, it’s gotten harder to live among other people’s lives. Especially when one has chronic sleep issues like I do.

I am not okay with the chronic sleep issues, and I continue to do my best to live with them.

I’m mostly okay with the stuff I’ve accumulated. We’ve been living in Norfolk for almost 6.5 years and I suppose that’s to be expected. And I’m going to have an opportunity soon to reduce and recycle some of the stuff I’ve accumulated. I will be ruthless and it will be fun!

Heath and I find ourselves at a crossroads. The couple we’ve been house-sitting for in Norfolk since September 2016 are permanently moving home. We will be living through big changes this year and we aren’t exactly sure what those changes are yet going to look like.

When I think about 2023 and imagine it’s my last year on Earth, for the first time since I’ve been death meditating, I’ve got nothing! There is nothing that I want to prioritize. No goals that I want to achieve. No places to visit. No relationships to hone. I just want to make it through this year of transition and come out still able to breathe. So that’s what I’m going to do. This year is going to be my year of breathing.

The best part is I have to do it anyway! I might as well do it with intention to help navigate all the uncertainty we’re up against.

Deep breath in … deep breath out.

I can do this.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Thinking About Death in the New Year, 2023 edition 5

Memoir Monday, November 21st, 2016

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We are back in Norfolk, CT!  My husband I enjoyed it so much here that when our next pet and housesitting job ended up being canceled, we accepted an offer to return for the holidays.   But now that we’re back it’s time to set some new goals based on what I learned the last time we were here.

One of the things I’m trying with these goals is to make them S.M.A.R.T.(er) than my previous ones.  For those of you who don’t know, I spent several years conducting program evaluation research.  One of the keys for measuring success is that objectives must be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.  Here’s what I’ve come up with:

1)      Write 6,000 words per week specifically for one of my novels

Rationale: I want 2016 to be the year I start and finish a novel.  If I stay on track with this goal, that gives me an additional 36,000 words.  Since I already have 35,000 words written for my middle grade novel, this should be more than enough to finish and make substantial progress on some of my other unfinished writing.

2)      Attend a weekly writer’s group

Rationale: Writers’ groups are invaluable for providing feedback and connection to other writers.  I cannot say enough good things about them and I’ve been blessed to belong to some outstanding ones (Durham Writers’ Group, Schenectady Public Library, United Church of Christ Congregational Norfolk, and SCBWI Eastern CT).  Attending a writers’ group on a weekly basis will also keep me writing a variety of projects.

3)      Listen to at least one Brandon Sanderson lecture on writing each week

Rationale: From my 8 years of teaching research writing, I have good technical writing skills.  Imagination and creativity are also two of my greatest strengths.  But after reading Libbie Hawker’s Take Your Pants Off: Outline Your Books for Faster, Better, Writing, I realized I still have a lot to learn about fiction to take my writing to the next level.  One of my good friends highly recommends Brandon Sanderson’s lectures and my husband reads his books.  Since I write a lot of fantasy, I thought this would be a good fit for me.  Plus, he’s got a lot of material freely available on the internet.

4)      Read at least five chapters of a novel every week

Rationale:  It’s simple – if you want to be a better writer, you need to read.  A LOT.  This is something I don’t always prioritize, especially when I’m reading a book that has slow pacing.  If I can learn to identify the strengths and weaknesses of others’ writing, though, I think this will make me a stronger writer in the long-term.

5)      Complete 3 sets of PT exercises every day

Rationale:  My right hamstrings, hip, and quadriceps are much weaker than other muscles in my body.  I know, weird, because my left hamstrings, hip, and quadriceps are doing just fine.  What these weaknesses amount to is, however, is pain.  As a big believer in prevention, these exercises should help me stave off any long-term issues.

6)      Spend 20 minutes every day on physical exercise

Rationale:  I’ve gotten blobby both physically and cardiovascularly.  I’m only 39.  I should be able to walk up a hill without getting winded.  Last November, I LOVED how I looked and felt.  I even kept up with my workout routine when I spent two weeks at the UN climate change conference in Paris.  I have no excuses.  I let myself go by making choices that did not honor my health and body on a regular basis.  I will always love myself unconditionally, but that doesn’t mean I won’t hold myself accountable for risking my health in this way.

7)      Eat one salad every day that contains at least four colors of the rainbow

Rationale:  See points above.  We cannot do it better than nature and that includes food choices.  I love rainbows, so I might as well start eating them.

8)      Meditate twice daily for 20 minutes each time

Rationale:  Nothing has improved my life as much as meditating on a regular basis.  It started in November 2013 with Oprah Winfrey’s and Deepak Chopra’s Desire and Destiny Meditation series.  I started making some real life changes after I started meditating and I can honestly say I’ve never been happier.

9)      Spend 20 minutes every day reading or listening to spiritual material

Rationale:  With my meditation time, this gives me approximately one hour per day devoted to spiritual health and my relationship with God.  In all honesty, I don’t think seven hours a week is actually enough and there have been times when I devoted two hours a day to spirituality.  Once I am successful with recreating these life goals as habits over these next two months, I’ll check in to see if I can amp up my spiritual time because time spent reflecting and connecting with God and the Divine is never wasted.

10)   Explore someplace new every week with my husband

Rationale:  My husband and I like to go on adventures and we especially like to be out in nature.  This will ensure that we actually do the things we say we’re going to do.  As an added bonus, I get to spend time with my husband and he’s super fun and cute.

So there you go – 10 goals and two months.  You may be thinking oh my goodness, that’s a lot! I thought the same thing when I typed the list out, which is why I limited it to only 10 goals (believe me, I could have come up with a lot more).  The truth is I do a lot of these activities on a regular basis already; the only difference is now I’m trying to measure and quantify them to help me manage and be more productive with my time.  I am confident I can do it!  I will keep you posted and in the meantime, please send me all the love and support you can.