Even though we haven’t lived in Norfolk, CT, since May 2023, I still serve on the board of directors for the Norfolk Land Trust. I’m the chair of the NLT outreach committee, and it’s my responsibility to put out the monthly e-newsletter.
Yesterday, I sent out the October newsletter, and I included one of my favorite photos of Annie.
I miss her human, too, and the town of Norfolk, itself. Fall was always my favorite time in Norfolk. I took this photo on October 16, 2022. It is completely unedited, unfiltered, untouched. This is the magic of autumnal New England in all her glory!
Here in Colorado, we’re slowly easing into fall. Every day I wake up and eventually check the 10-day forecast, hoping that we’re heading down instead of up.
Today is still not that day. Ugh! 90 in October?
I don’t walk nearly as much around Lafayette as I did in Norfolk, not least because I have a full-time job (which I truly enjoy and am grateful for), but also because this summer was hot and humid, even at six o’clock in the morning, and my joy of walking around the lake came with too much sweat dripping down my back.
Last summer, I spent nearly every morning walking around the lake, and so this summer was quite the walking bummer. I only hit my bare minimum of two times around the lake for the last 10 weeks.
For someone who is very achievement-oriented, this bare-minimum success can be a hard way to live. However, this is where the rationalization part of my brain kicks in, and I recognize that I spent this past summer doing many other wonderful things besides walking around the lake, like reading more than I have in a long time, spending more time on my writing, and working on strengthening my body by lifting heavier weights three times a week.
I like to think this balances out my life in a nice, well-rounded way, even as I long for cooler days and more walks around the lake. They’ll eventually get here.
I had the privilege and delight of spending spring break in Norfolk, CT. As you may remember, Heath and I housesat in Norfolk from 2016 to 2023, and I loved it there. Heath, not so much, and I promised him he would not turn 40 years old and still be living in Norfolk, so we left in May 2023 (approximately 5 days before his 40th birthday).
I visited last year, as well, for spring break to meet Lucy Honeybee, and, of course, because I missed many of my friends and friends who are like family.
Lucy Honeybee, left, and Annie Rose, right
This year, I also missed snow, cold, and winter, as Colorado is in a snow drought and experiencing unseasonably high temperatures. Although most people I saw in Norfolk had absolutely had it and were sick of winter, I was thrilled on my fourth morning there when I woke up to this winter wonderland.
As thrilled as I was to be in Norfolk, there were also many pangs of sadness. Since my last visit, two wonderful friends of mine have died (one was 102! And the other was only 51), and, the world also lost Annie, who I maintain may be the greatest Golden Retriever in the history of the world.
Lucy Honeybee has big paws to fill when it comes to Annie, and we try not to make too many comparisons or put too much pressure on her to be like Annie. She is an incredibly smart, sweet, and affectionate dog who is easy to love, and when she’s not so easy to love because of her puppy biting, we put her in “puppy jail” which is to say she gets to lounge in the kitchen until we have deemed her rehabilitated.
The kitchen really is a great place for her to be, as she has access to two oversized dog beds, plenty of toys, and two comfy chairs to choose from, as well as a glass door through which she can gaze longingly at the outside world.
Lucy in puppy jail
Every morning, I took Lucy for a romp in the woods, which is how I often spent my time with Annie. In some ways, they are very similar to each other.
For example, look at their ears!
Or how they run ….
Or their love of big sticks!
In one big way, they are very different. I noticed it when I scrolled through my photos after the first walk.
Look at Lucy’s tail, I thought. It’s so fluffy.
Wait. Annie had a tail, too.
Why have I never noticed Annie’s tail before?
Having about ten thousand photos of Annie, I immediately scrolled through them looking for evidence of Annie’s tail.
And I found it. It’s just not expressive like Lucy’s. There’s no plumage. There’s no lift. It was just kind of there, usually down or out.
Annie’s Down or Out Tail
I did manage to find one photo with some lift to it.
It’s funny how you may never notice something until the opposite presents itself to you.
Once back in Colorado, I felt utterly exhausted and in need of a break from my spring break. Unfortunately, I didn’t get one as the semester geared right back up and we’re in the home stretch until finals.
It’s a small price to pay for so much Norfolk love.
On November 24th, a bright light in my world darkened. That was the day my beloved golden-wise friend, Annie, breathed her last.
When I started typing this blog post, I originally wrote as the first sentence: On November 24th, a bright golden light in my world went out. Within seconds, I felt in my heart that it wasn’t true because Annie and her golden-wise ways will never truly be extinguished from my life. Even with my very active imagination, I cannot think of any circumstance in which I would ever forget our times romping in the woods together, her belly flops into the swimming pool, or her general otherworldliness that had me convinced she was a divine being wearing a dog costume so she could experience life on Earth.
I knew and loved Annie for over 6 years while I lived in Norfolk, CT, and that didn’t stop after we left in May 2023. We’ve taken hundreds of walks together in the Barbour Woods, one of my favorite places in the world. Annie’s joy of running wild in the woods served as the inspiration for the first young adult romcom I ever wrote, and my relationship with her and her human mom took me to Seattle, WA, in the summer of 2023, where I met Annie’s nephew, Arnold, and wrote a story about him for a middle-grade audience.
One of my favorite things about Annie is the little rhrr, rhrr, rhrr noises she made whenever anyone she loved visited her house (which was pretty much anyone she knew). She would lean into you, wagging the entire backside of her body, and rhrr away, mostly because she was happy to see you, but also, I suspect, because she saw that person as a potential walking mate in the woods. Just like how I love the Barbour Woods, so did Annie! One time, her mom reported to Heath that she looked out the window one day, and Annie was trotting along the trail on her own. She took herself for a walk! We all laughed and loved it.
I also taught her the word vamos, which is Spanish for let’s go! It only took her a few days to learn, and she knew how to listen for it when I came over because that meant it was a walk visit and not a visit visit, which I sometimes occasionally did.
The last time I saw Annie in person was in March 2025. I visited because a new puppy, Lucy Honeybee, and Annie’s great great great niece (I think I got the greats correct) had joined Annie’s family, and I wanted Lucy to know me during this critical stage in her life. And, of course, to visit Annie and her human mom.
Beleaguered is the best word Annie’s mom came up with for how Annie experienced Lucy, and it provided us with a lot of love, affection, and laughter for observing their relationship. I made it a point to take Annie on no-puppies-allowed walks so she could enjoy the peace and quiet of the woods without the worry of what Lucy was doing, where she was going, what she was putting in her mouth, or how she was jumping on top of Annie. I’m so glad I made the time to do that because those walks are now my last walks with Annie, and for being my last new memories, they’re pretty good.
My only regret during that time is that, according to my year-end review of Google Photos, I took 191 photos of Lucy and only 189 photos of Annie. Rationally, I know 2 photos are insignificant. Now that’s Annie gone, I want her to be on top one final time. Not that Lucy’s not ridiculously cute. Her golden-almost-wise ways are just so very different from Annie’s.
Not good or bad, just different, and I look forward to getting to know her.
However, it will never be the same as when I was living in Norfolk, and that’s why Annie’s death continues to hit me hard. With every passing day, my connection to Norfolk and the Northwest corner of Connecticut breaks a little bit more. I miss my friends, dogs, and the woods there very much.
Goodbye, Annie Rose. You may be gone from this world, but in my heart and stories, you remain a spark of gold forevermore.
It’s been 9 years since I had a spring break. One of the perks of teaching is that we get ample time off, which I greatly appreciate.
The last time I had spring break, my niece and I flew to Arizona, and then we drove from Sedona to the Petrified Forest to Las Vegas, where I had a conference. The conference part is important because I would NOT go to Vegas for a vacation. We are not the biggest fans of that much stimulation.
This time, I traveled to Norfolk to meet Lucy Honey Bee aka Annie, Jr. I felt strongly that Lucy needed to meet me when she was still a puppy to ensure our bond despite the long distance between us.
She is such a delightful and smart puppy! Though she does behave in ONE VERY DISGUSTING WAY which I will not name here lest she becomes famous someday and people search the Internet looking for dirt on her.
Annie, who is Lucy’s great, great Aunt, is teaching Lucy her Golden Wise ways. Annie is a patient and all-knowing teacher, as we all knew she would be.
For the most part.
As you can imagine, with a puppy, there is A LOT of relentless romping, rolling, and roughhousing. When Annie reaches maximum tolerance, beleaguered is the word to best describe what happens next.
Exhibit A.
Exhibit B is the look Annie gave me when Lucy couldn’t get out of the creek. I’m pretty sure it’s something along the lines of, let’s just leave her.
The trip was too short, and before I knew it, I was sadly heading back to the airport. As much as I love my job and where we are in Colorado, I will never give up hope that someday, Heath comes into the living room and says, “Okay. Let’s move in with Annie’s mom.”
I put the chances of that at slim to none. So, in the meantime, I will relish my breaks and visit whenever I can.
Annie, Lucy, their mom, and the rest of Norfolk – I miss you already!
I’ve been a little light on posting this summer, and it’s not because I haven’t had anything to write about. On the contrary, I’ve had so many things to write about, some life-changing, that overwhelm has been a near-constant companion since May.
In the past three months, CU Boulder hired me as a full-time teaching faculty member in the psychology and neuroscience department (I start August 19), I said goodbye to our life as housesitters, Heath and I moved into a single-family home in Lafayette, CO, we finalized our move from Norfolk (ie., last week we packed up in a U-haul our remaining stuff stored in our friends’ basement and then drove from Norfolk to Lafayette by way of Harrisburg, PA, and Murfreesboro, TN, and my beloved buddy, Dodger, died in my arms.
The first photo I ever took of Dodger and the last photo I ever took of Dodger.
I’ll write about all these events soon, but today I honor Dodger, a dog unlike any other with his sassy attitude, envelope ears, and butterscotch heart.
Barbour Woods, 2018
Dodger and his mama Cecily were a huge part of my life in Norfolk. I wrote about them on this blog multiple times (see here,here and here for examples). The world lost Cecily in June 2022, and a little over two years later, Dodger joined her. Dodger’s adoptive parents knew his end was coming. Throughout the spring, they had kept me updated on his declining health. I asked them to tell Dodger he didn’t have to wait for me to come back to Norfolk this summer and that if he needed to go, he should go. We knew we loved each other.
Cecily’s Porch, July 2022
He held on. My flight to Norfolk landed at Bradley-International Airport on Thursday, July 11th. After a good friend picked me up and dropped me off at Annie and her human’s house, and a quick hello and hugs to them, I headed over to see Dodger.
Barbour Woods, February 2018
Although it was heartbreaking to see such a commanding and agile dog as Dodger hobbling around, his face retained every inch of his Dodgerness. I understood exactly what his adoptive parents meant by his “mixed signals” when having to make the hardest decision in Dodger’s life.
Barbour Woods, October 2020
I spent that night with him and then went over again to spend hours with him on Friday night. I was told the plan had been set. A vet would come to the house on Monday.
Barbour Woods, June 2020
But Dodger never did anything according to what we planned, and Friday night, he took a turn for the worse. The vet was able to fit him in on Saturday, and his adoptive parents generously and graciously offered me to go with them.
Eve, Cecily, and Dodger in Cecily’s Living Room, February 2019
The moment I walked in and saw him on Saturday afternoon, I knew they were making the right decision. It was time. Well, it was time for Dodger. There would never be enough time for me to get in all the walks, belly rubs, and reminisces of our time together.
Dodger with mini-Dodger, a stuffed dog made by Eve Thew, August 2019
We spent our final hours together, and then suddenly, we were in the car going to the vet. Along the way, Dodger became a little agitated. The idea occurred to me that I had many videos of Cecily in my cloud storage, so I quickly found one of the longer videos (I knew where to look) and played the video on a loop. Dodger immediately settled down at the sound of Cecily’s voice.
Halloween, 2019 (I carved the pumpkin to look like Dodger)
Cecily’s name became a refrain we all echoed at some point during Dodger’s final hour – just a little bit longer, and you’ll be with Cecily again.
Christmas, 2020
Dodger’s death hits particularly hard because I truly feel it’s the end of an era. I met Cecily and Dodger early during our time in Norfolk and I spent countless hours over there every week. For over two years, Heath worked as one of Cecily’s caregivers. So many times, I tagged along on their outings. We always had such a splendid time.
Cecily, Heath, and Dodger, Harney & Sons, Millerton, NY, October 2019
There were so many small, joyful moments with Cecily and Dodger – dinners, birthdays, Super Bowl parties, Christmases, and the most spectacular sunsets viewed off of Cecily’s side porch. She had, arguably, the best sunset view in Norfolk.
July 2019, Cecily’s Porch
Cecily’s family sold her house last year so I’ll never again be able to watch one of those porch sunsets. When I drove by her house the day after Dodger died, I felt empty with loss. I no longer have any direct connection to Cecily, just my memories. Some I’ll never forget, like how I was driving Dodger home from the vet in Cecily’s car when I finally saw my first black bear in Norfolk after three years, and some are gone forever, thanks to my journal being stolen last year.
On the way back from Sand Road Vet, May 2020; Dodger could not care less we saw a bear
Thankfully, I am good friends with Dodger’s adoptive parents so that connection remains alive and well. We marveled over the idea that when we met eight years ago, we never could have guessed that someday we’d be sharing profound grief together over someone else’s dog in a veterinary exam room. We all had Dodger in our arms for those last few minutes.
Goodbye, my sweet and sassy Dodge Podge. It was a great honor to know and love you.
I’ve now returned to Boulder after 2.5 weeks of taking care of my buddy Fergus back in Norfolk, Connecticut.
Such a distinguished gentlepup.
There’s a lot I could say about the trip, but for right now, I’m not yet ready to share because I’m just starting to process some “life just sucks sometimes” events that have evolved these past few days.
In the meantime, I am overwhelmed with the amount of love and friendship I developed in Norfolk since September 2016. The support these past few days has been comforting and uplifting. From dogs, yes, but also the people. I got to visit with so many friends and friends who are like family. I love you all so, so much.
Some highlights from the week include:
a tea party worthy of Downton Abbey with some friends who are the epitome of aging well (can you guess who in the group is 100?)
walking with Dodger, Fergus, Dodger’s other dog walker, and his adopted mom in the Barbour Woods,
many walks with Annie in the woods, which also means I got to see Annie’s mom a lot (she is also very near and dear to my heart),
a walk up Haystack mountain with two friends, but because I’ve been trying to distance myself from my phone, I didn’t take any pictures,
and discovering that the groomers missed one hair on Fergus’s head.
I hope by the time I post again I’ll have some happy updates to share. If not, well … I’m sure I’ll have some more dog photos.
One of my happy places is being in the woods, especially if I’m with a dog.
Barbour Woods, Fall 2021
There’s a sense of freedom and hope surrounded by all the beauty where I can’t help but feel comfortable and connected to something greater than myself.
Barbour Woods, December 2021
For most of our time in Norfolk, the Barbour Woods was my go-to spot for being in the woods. I started walking Dodger there in 2017 and then in 2020 added Annie (and occasionally Fergus) to my walks.
Barbour Woods, June 2020
Barbour Woods, Winter 2023
The Barbour Woods has 10 different trails, all with their own woodland charms. For example, the Old Carriage Trail has the Kilarney Bridge, the Swamp Trail has vernal pools, and the Beechwood Loop Trail has a view of Haystack Mountain.
Barbour Woods, October 2022
Barbour Woods, October 2021
Barbour Woods, Spring 2022
There are few places in this world where I’m happier than the Barbour Woods.
So it gives me great pleasure to announce that the Barbour Woods is a finalist in the 3rd Annual Readers’ Choice Awards from Rural Intelligence for Best Hiking Trail.
If you don’t mind sharing your name, email address, zip code, and gender with Rural Intelligence, you can vote for the Barbour Woods every day through November 13 by clickinghere.
Yes, you can vote every day in each of the categories. No, you don’t have to vote for any other category if you don’t want to.
I’ve had a lot of professional and personal disappointments these past few months, so I’m throwing myself into campaigning for the Barbour Woods to win. As a board member of the Norfolk Land Trust and Co-chair of their outreach committee, I have access to our social media accounts. I’m posting daily reminders to vote on our Instagram Stories. It’s fun because it gives me an excuse to go through my photos and find my favorites of being in the woods.
I know it’s not much, but when there are so many things out of my control right now, it feels good to have a plan: post every day on social media and remind people to vote.
So please vote for the Barbour Woods!
Even if you’ve never been on a trail there, you can take my word for it that these woods are AWESOME.
We left Norfolk yesterday afternoon with no expectation for when we’ll return. Our 3-month housesit morphed into 6.5 years, and now it’s finally over. There have been lots of tears (me, not Heath) and lots of goodbyes.
I look forward to our future. We’re on our way to a housesit in Colorado by way of Harrisburg, PA, and Nashville, TN. The emotions of wrapping up our life in Norfolk are too raw right now for me to write about in full right now, so this blog post is all I can manage.
Most of these photos are from our going away “party” at the Berkshire Country Store on Saturday. I apprecaite eveyrone who showed up (and brought their dogs!), as well as those who offered well wishes if they couldn’t attend.
Fergus and his humans did come to the party, but I was too busy holding him to take any proper pictures. This photo is from our actual goodbye at Fergus’s house on Sunday morning. Of the goodbyes I had to make, this is one of the hardest. It’s tied with saying goodbye to Annie and her human.
I have nothing but gratitude and love for the people and dogs of Norfolk who stole my heart during these last 6.5 years. You have changed me forever. Thank you!
When Heath and I moved to Norfolk six-and-a-half years ago, I immediately looked to connect with local children’s book writers. I soon learned that Norfolk doesn’t always have a “local” option, and I ended up finding writers who belonged to a Society for Children’s Book Writers & Illustators critique group that met at the Simsbury Library.
We read and constructively criticized each others’ work, attended conferences and retreats together, and supported each other through twists and turns on our respective paths to publication.
These last few weeks have brought some successes for my friends, and I’m so grateful to have been a part of them before we leave Norfolk in just six short weeks.
At the beginning of May, my friend Lynn celebrated the launch of her debut middle grade book, Chester and the Magic 8 Ball.I read chapters of Chester years ago. It’s about a toothless rescue dog who can predict the future with a Magic 8 ball.
Author Lynn Katz
Of course, I loved the story and I never gave up that Chester would someday be published.
I’m not the only one who loved the story, as it got a starred Kirkus Review. Here’s a snippet from the review: An uplifting middle-grade story that meets sadness head-on and cuddles up to what’s important in life.
As a writer, a starred Kirkus Review is a big deal and I am so happy for Lynn.
Left to Right: My handsome husband Heath, Me!, book coach Christy Yaros, Author Lynn Katz, Pam Kelly, Author Mary Munson, Rebecca Smith-Allen, and author Karin LeFranc.
This past Saturday, my friend Mary celebrated the launch of her debut picture book Love Will Turn You Around. This bright and colorful story is about a heart who wakes up not feeling quite like himself. With the help of some well-meaning friends, all who are different shapes, Heart is able to turn himself right side up.
Mary’s book launch was a rousing success, complete with a rapt audience and lots of laughter and smiles.
When Mary thanked me for coming (it was a 48-minute drive), I told her, Of course! You’re never going to be a debut author again.
Six-and-a-half years ago, we were writers with dreams of being published as we sat in a conference room sharing our work and hoping that maybe this would be the manuscript that got us past the traditional publshing gate. Two of us have made it! Here’s to more successes and more books in our future!
Left to Right: Author Lynn Katz (Chester and the Magic 8 Ball), Author Mary Munson (Love Will Turn You Around), Author Nancy Tandon (The Way I Say It; The Ghost of Spruce Point), and me!
I already finished the first draft and so I have plenty of time to refine and practice it.
I get paid for it! Thank you Woodbury Library.
The invitation to present magically appeared in my inbox several weeks ago.
When I say magic, I don’t mean the Harry Potter type magic I wish was real. This is the kind of magic that Roman philosopher Seneca spoke about when he said, “luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”
In January of 2020, a friend who knew about my interest in minimalism got me an invitation to present at the Scoville Memorial Library. I presented The Psychology of Stuff: Why We Have So Much and What We Can Do About It to a standing room only crowd. I thought maybe 20 people would show up.
That presentation snowballed into several others, and then I lost steam because of the pandemic, grief over losing my Dad and Smudge within days of each other, uncertainty around life goals, and poor sleep health. I was okay with that outcome and accepted the situation as it was.
Meanwhile, someone saw an article that had been written about my Psychology of Stuff presentation. They tore it out of the newspaper and kept it. For three years! They recently contacted the Woodbury Library for my email and then scheduled me to present for their organization in April. YAY for that!
The Woodbury Library also sent me an email asking if I still presented. I said yes! I’ve been leading a personal growth group for three years that was a result of the original Scoville Memorial Library presentation. I have plenty of new knowledge to share, as well as significantly more personal experience.
I’m delighted to present Spring Cleaning Hacks: How to Get Started When You Don’t Want to this week at the Woodbury Library. It combines so many areas of life that I love: psychology, mindfulness, well-being, productivity, and time management. Even though I am exhausted because of daylight savings time and the typical sleep problems associated with having narcolepsy, I feel energized to share this knowledge with the Woodbury Library patrons.
If you’re in the Woodbury area, stop on by! And if you’re not, you are always welcome to ask your library to extend me an invitation to present.
End notes:
Shout out to the person who sent me the above newspaper clipping: THANK YOU!
Second shout out to Heath Hughes who took that great photo of me.
Also, here’s a picture of Annie because it doesn’t feel right to have zero dog pictures in my blog post. I love the fan of her tail and the swoosh of her ears!
